My wife of 4 months still hasnt had sex with me?

January 27th, 2011

On our wedding night/honeymoon she said she was scared because she was a virgin and then it was just one more excuse after the next. Also, she bought me a pair of silk leopard print underwear that are obviously womens because they have the cotton piece right in the middle of the crotch as panties do but she says she bought them in the “mens” section. And she gets mad when I refuse to wear them. What is going on here. Is she screwing with me? What should I do? I do love her and we have been together for a little more than 3 years now. I never pressed the sex thing because she always claimed to want to wait till marriage but now we are married and im still not gettin any.

14 Responses to “My wife of 4 months still hasnt had sex with me?”

  1. Love being a mommy! says:

    thats shitty. ask her what the deal is, somethings up.

  2. Karla C says:

    hello, this its my email:

    please write to me..

  3. Tj says:

    She’s your wife…sit down and talk about it… help make her feel more comfortable. Dont get angry about this, she has every right to be scared. She’s saved herself for so long, maybe she’s having second thoughts but whatever it is, you need to find out.

  4. KRIS says:

    here is a word for you…


    GET ONE.

  5. debwithangel says:

    Time for a marriage consular there is something wrong there.

  6. Jag says:

    Looks like you got a lemon

  7. Wiser1 says:

    Maybe she’s gay and married you for your money? You went together for 3 years? Wow. Insist she go with you to a marriage counselor. That’s my suggestion. I don’t think she really loves you. You can get the married annulled since it hasn’t been consummated.

  8. Ruth says:

    So how long do you plan on waiting? I would say give her an ultimatum, explaining that you are a red-blooded male and have certain needs. And she has a responsibility to provide you with some relief there….

  9. Julo says:

    RED FLAG dude!!
    4 months is 3months and 29days too long!
    Something is very wrong here and I don’t think it has to do with sex. Go to counseling ASAP. Then you can feel you did everything possible before she leaves you for another WOMEN!

  10. Katie T says:

    Hmmm….Perhaps she hasn’t fully adjusted to the fact that it’s now “ok” or maybe the “you’re only a virgin once” thing is weighing on her mind and maybe she’s not ready to have her first experience. For some people it can be a hard adjustment to make.

    Or at least that would be my first impulse…the panties thing throws me off a little. This implies some interest since she wants to see you in them.

    Either way, you should have a sincere talk with her and possibly counciling. If my husband behaved in a similar fashion I would think something was wrong. She could be embarrassed over something, especially if it’s some sort of phobia, and is afraid to talk about it because she doesn’t want to be ridiculed.

    All this is pure speculation of course. But I do wish you best of luck in your marriage.

  11. Tricia G says:

    Ummm….I had a friend who was in the same situation as you are. The good news is that they are still married 25 years later and have 3 children now.

    On their wedding night, they went back to her mom’s house and they stayed up really late opening up all the cards and chatting that they were exhausted. The next day they flew to Hawaii…still exhausted. Then some of the pressure was off to “perform” because it wasn’t their wedding night.

    When they did try to have sex, it HURT and she made her husband stop. My friend pretty much flips out when she has physical pain to the point where she would got hysterical and the doctor had to get involved when she needed an IV.

    Finally, it got to be 3 or 4 months after the wedding and they still hadn’t had sex yet and it was starting to interfere with their marriage. Obviously.

    One of the issues with them was that her husband was approaching her as a non-virgin. Uh…hello, intact hymen…can’t do that! Finally, she decided to just get it over with. She made him lay on the bed fully aroused and not move at all. That first time or two she had full control of the penetration. It is sort of like anything that causes pain like pinching yourself…it is less painful when you control it than when someone else does it to you. And the first time for a woman is painful.

    Like I said, they’ve been married for 25 years now and have 3 kids, so it is possible to successfully move past this and have a healthy sex life and happy marriage.

  12. David Devoted says:

    Wow, you haven’t even consummated your marriage. My wife and I didn’t have sex before we were married, but we darn well expected to after marriage. You two definitely didn’t talk about this enough prior to the vows.

    Basically, what she is doing is grounds for an annulment. Not divorce… annulment. From a Christian standpoint, we wouldn’t even need marriage if it wasn’t for the sexual relationship. Heck, if you’re not going to have sex, she’s really just a close friend, not a lover.

    When you got married, she flat out lied. Any sane person who is waiting to have sex until they are married has the high expectation that with the marriage vows comes a sexual relationship. So the lie was in her not telling you that she didn’t want to have sex, even after marriage. The whole POINT of waiting for sex until marriage is to save yourself only for them so that you can give them the wonderful gift of your sexuality. So no sex, no marriage.

    I think she has some serious psychological issues that need to be addressed. She has deceived you on something quite serious, so there has to be a major reason she has done this. I’ve heard of women who got the whole “no sex until marriage” message drilled into their head so severely, that they begin to think that sex is morally wrong. That’s doesn’t make any sense, but neither do the thoughts of someone with anorexia.

    So, you need to give her an ultimatum with three choices: 1. We start having sex 2. We go see a therapist to deal with the background issues so you can have sex with me eventually, or 3. I’m getting an annulment.

  13. snack_daddy10 says:

    Give it another 30 to 40 years and if she still doesn’t have sex with you tell the grand kids that enough is enough and you are going to divorce their grand mother.

  14. 100% Scorpio says:

    IS she middle eastern?

    Sounds like it….Her mother should of prepaired her for marriage.. she sounds very young… not mature enough for marriage.. So Sad… If she isnt doing it now… she will never be enjoying it!

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