Would you tell your sisters fiance that she is lying about everything?

April 22nd, 2011

My little sister and I do not get along, got to say that so it is clear. She is getting married in a couple of months to a guy who is a decent, hard working person. I think he is a good catch for her. Here is the problem: She has lied to him (known for a fact) about almost every aspect to her life, for example, religion (she tells him she is Catholic when in fact we are are Jewish but she is practicing Wicca which I know is a deal breaker for him) , who her father is (she says that are step-dad is biologically her father not mine when in fact are biological father is someone else), that we are full blooded sisters, and she abused my children verbally (think calling an autistic child stupid to his face). Oh…and the fact that she was diagnosed as a compulsive liar (that was kept from him) Her fiance thinks she is a truthful, sweet person which she isn’t. Do I keep my mouth shut and watch them produce children in the future (they are planning to immediately after the wedding) and watch them bring innocent children when I am sure once he finds out everything he will divorce her (the bet in my family is less then 2 years). Or do I say something to him? But how do I say literally the truth without being the “bad guy”?? He is a nice guy and to be honest, I feel bad that he is marrying her so blindly!
Never saw that movie
I meant to say we are NOT full blooded sisters, lol. forgot the not!
FYI: I am happily married for almost 6 years. And I’m not even going to their wedding because she actually said she is dis-inviting me because she doesn’t want me talking to her fiance! (basically, she doesn’t want him getting the truth)
They got engaged after dating for only 6 months, no, he doesn’t really know her!

13 Responses to “Would you tell your sisters fiance that she is lying about everything?”

  1. AZD² says:

    show him the movie 28 dresses and tell him it is relevant

  2. Wildflower says:

    Don’t say anything. Telling him any of this would not stop him from marrying her.. he wouldn’t believe you probably.. and no matter how it comes out.. you will be the “bad guy”.

  3. happy:) says:

    try telling him anonymously so it doesnt cause a big family rift. he defo needs telling about this hes going to 10 times more heartbroken when he finds out the truth and what a compulsive liar she really is
    go on tell him asap

  4. ablex says:

    Yes, he needs to know.
    Be prepared for him to disbelieve you, and be able to prove what you can.

  5. SherryF says:

    If he is that blind then he should not be getting married at all. He must know her better than you think. I would never get into anyone business like this. If you feel you need to tell him, be prepared to not be on talking terms with her or him. No one likes the truth. I don’t think it is your obligation to let him know about her. Like I said, he should know her inside and out before he weds her anyway so if they are jumping in with no knowledge of each other then it is not going to last anyway. Don’t say something jut because you don’t like her. I would stay out of it.

  6. CR7896 says:

    This is none of your business. I have a family member that recently married what I would classify as a loser, but I have and will continue to keep my mouth shut. It is his mistake to make not yours. I know you feel for this guy but he needs to figure this out on his own and if she is as much as a compulsive liar as you say, she will just end up getting him to believe her anyway because he is in love with her. Love makes us blind, especially in the honeymoon phase to others faults.

  7. ♥ Jєииιfєя ♥ ~ ღ α∂αм ℓαмвєят ღ says:

    If you were to tell him, do it because it’s the RIGHT thing to do, and not because you are your sister do not get along.

    I mean, They’re getting married – spending the rest of their lives together. Personally, I would never be in a relationship where myself or he were lieing.
    If she wants to commit to her relationship based on lies, then it’s her choice.

  8. denise says:

    I would yes tell him but in way where ur not talking bad about her.I would start with the fact that she is a compulsive liar and that ur grateful that he is marrying her, and that he will be able to help her with her issues. im sure then he will have more question and then u will be able to say the rest.

  9. John says:

    I am going to assume that you have some kind of at least talking, communicative relationship with your future brother-in-law. If that isn’t the case, make certain that you get into one today! Of course you should tell him all that you know. It doesn’t really matter that it is your sister that he is engaged to; if it were anyone else and he was being suckered into a relationship that is based on completely false premises, you should let him know. Make certain that he knows where you are coming from and suggest that he talk with your parents to further ascertain the truth. Presumably, because there is betting in the family, everyone knows what is going on, so perhaps you should try to get him alone with the rest of your family (or, if you’re feeling really brave, with your sister present as well). Discuss with him what your concerns are and let him make his own decision.

  10. ladybug says:

    If is head over heel in love with her so you will probably pass like the liar here so let then be and remember the saying what goes around comes around!
    Take Care!

  11. Sue C says:

    Is he ever in for one rude awakening!!! Sounds as tho her whole life regarding him is nothing but lie after lie! What a way to start a marriage. What a total shame he knows NOTHING about her & at some point it IS going to come out, it can’t but not come out! To call an autistic child stupid to his face is darn rite cruel, & how is she going to treat her own kids when they have them. God help them! IF you truly feel her fiance should know about her, you could ask him if he’d like to know a few things about your sister he doesn’t know about. You could let him know they would no doubt be of importance to them both in the future & you’ve been toying with whether you should or should not get involved, let him marry her then find out, or if it would be best for his sake to know ahead of time. You could say she isn’t exactly the person he thinks her to be & would he like to know ahead of time or find out after it’s too late. I’d give him the option of his choice. But she does have one heck of a lot of issues that aren’t the best for one to have to live with & find out when it’s too late. Think about it seriously & again ask him if he wants to find them out now before it’s too late…the best to you…:)

  12. Maxi says:

    Presumably they are both adults, so thy have to make their own decisions…. her about hr story telling and him in believing her or not……..it is none of your business an you won’t be thanked for interfering

  13. Nightwind: Mwa ha ha! says:

    If your sister is as bad as you say, I personally think you are making a responsible choice in telling the fiance. However, do realize that if you do this you WILL be the “bad guy” in the eyes of your sister. There is no way around that. So the question is…is this important enough to be worth the likely consequences?

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