Would it be rude to ask my aunt if all of her kids can be in the wedding?

May 16th, 2011

My cousins are gonna be 4, 8, and 12 when the wedding happens, and I’d like the 4 yo. to be the ring bearer and the 8 yo. to be the flower girl. But then I’m worried about my 12 yo. cousin getting jealous that she doesn’t get to be in the wedding. I really don’t mind her being a junior bridesmaid if she wants since im her only female cousin, but I don’t want to burden my aunt with too much responsibility and cost, you know?

I don’t plan on having a super traditional wedding, so im not gonna be like asking my aunt to buy expensive formal clothes and professional hairdos for all 3 of them or anything…but still, I dunno if its alot to ask

10 Responses to “Would it be rude to ask my aunt if all of her kids can be in the wedding?”

  1. <3 says:

    Ask her!

  2. black rose says:

    I think you should ask 🙂 if its not going to be crazy expensive why not? I think its nice that you are trying to include your cousins in your wedding. I would find it flattering 😉

  3. .. says:

    just ask her alone

    she will probably be reallypleased

    im not aware of her financial situation but she prob wont mind paying as its a great experience for her children x

  4. Mo'nique says:

    It cannot hurt to ask ,however even though they are family and it`s YOUR wedding .You should at least give her half of the expense to show class.Just a thought not saying that your don`t have class.However it would show that you don`t expect her to do it all,just to be in Your wedding.I mean after all the children are only going to wear the clothing once ,so think about that in a sense .

  5. BelindaL says:

    Figure out something super special for her to do. Like announce the 2 of you for the first time at the reception. That way for a second she gets to be the center of attention like her little siblings. Have her help in the set up or you getting ready. She’s young enough that she’ll be in plenty of weddings when she gets older. And if you make a special job for her she can wear something your aunt can afford.

  6. BabeHart says:

    Talk to her about it just as you posted it here…that you would like the 2 younger ones (although personally, I’ve never seen a need for ring bearers or flower girls) to be in it, and you don’t want the older to be excluded so if your aunt is comfortable with it, you’d invite the older to be a jr. bridesmaid…aunt gets to decide who can participate or not…make it clear you’re not expecting the expense to be high (let her know what she’d have to pay for) but ultimately she gets to decide…

    Best wishes!!!

  7. rebecca brightmoon says:

    i would ask her
    i don’t think it would be rude
    but i would find something for the 12 year old to do
    maybe she could be the hostess at the door
    maybe she can wear a dress she already has
    she doesn’t need anything fancy jest a nice dress
    handing people the pen to sign the book
    because if you don’t she mostly will be hurt
    she might not say any thing about it

  8. Kelly says:

    Its not asking a lot but don’t be disappointed if she can’t afford for all 3 of them to be in the wedding.

  9. truefirstedition says:

    I would ask, and then I would make some concessions for her in terms of cost – for example, they don’t need to get their hair professionally done (or you’ll cover those expenses for the two girls, the ring bearer doesn’t need his hair done), and the ring bearer and flower girl outfits will be under $50 each.

  10. Because I Said So says:

    I think if you’re asking for 2 or all 3 of her kids to be in the wedding party, you need to offer to at least split the cost of their attire with your aunt. Or cover it 100% if you can.

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