What wedding gift should I buy my bride?

July 7th, 2011

I realize it is hard to believe that she would want anything else but me (mainly because of my humility) but I thought I should please her until it’s time for her to return to work and support me.

Should I give her some fish heads? Some shiny things I find on the beach? The opportunity to wax my flippers daily?

Help, please.

She’s delightful, demented, kind, intelligent, resourceful, and she has pink hair. We are marrying as soon as she is finished building the cottage.

And you thought you had a busy weekend!

She is writing her own music but I thought we should also hire the London Symphony Orchestra and Chorus to perform Roger Miller’s “You Can’t Roller Skate in a Buffalo Herd.” God, what a sexy, romantic tune! I may have to tie her down to keep her from yodeling along with the music. She’s talented that way.

Thanks for your help.

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