What is the proper etiquette?

May 14th, 2011

One of my good friends is getting married on May 28th. I am one of her bridesmaids. We have been friends since seventh grade (we are both in our 20’s now). Originally, her bachelorette party was suppose to be on May 27th – the night before her wedding. I just received notification that the party has been moved to May 20th. I have Tim McGraw and Luke Bryan concert tickets since February for that same night thinking the bachlorette party was going to be the weekend after.

Do I sell these tickets and go to the party or just still go to the concert??

She and I are not as close as couple of other girl friends and me. But we are still fairly close. I would HATE to miss her bachelorette party. But I would also hate to miss the concert too. I bought tickets as a gift for another friend of mine whom I consider my “little” sister and we’ve been looking forward to this outing for months.

I also feel bad because I could not make it to her bridal shower last week either. I had a surprise party already booked and planned for my boyfriend weeks before the bridal shower was planned. So unfortunately, I wasn’t able to make it to her bridal shower due to schedule conflicts.

What would you do?? Would skipping her bach. party make me a horrible bridesmaid??

6 Responses to “What is the proper etiquette?”

  1. A C says:

    Go to the party; that is not happening again ever.

  2. susan m says:

    Don’t cancel the concert. Make them keep the bachelorette party on the 27th.

    They changed dates, and it’s not your fault for having previous plans. Why didn’t they check with the entire bridal party first?

    Proper ettiquette means you don’t disappoint people you have plans with by canceling, ESPECIALLY since the concert is a GIFT.

    Don’t worry or stress over this, your excuse is legitimate.

  3. Emma Regan says:

    Can you change your concert tickets for another night? Try.

    If not, you’ll just have to choose between the two events, and there’s not right/wrong choice. Whichever party you let down, make a point of explaining the conflict and how sorry you are. Make it up to them by arranging to spend time with them:

    -If you skip the bachelorette party, maybe hang out with the bride that day…take her to lunch, go shopping for an outfit for her to wear, help her get ready. This shows that you care and are supporting her. Afterall…you’d probably talk to her more if you did this one on one than you would at the party.

    -If you skip the concert, arrange to go to another concert with your friend. DO NOT sell the tickets ‘cos then your friend will be left at home feeling sorry for herself that night! Instead, make sure she finds someone else to take in your place and give them your ticket free of charge. Could the two of them come along to the bachelorette party afterwards? This way this friend wouldn’t feel left out and would see what a major deal it is that one of your friends is getting married.

    If you do choose to skip the bach. party, it won’t make you a horrible bridesmaid. Bridesmaids are there to support the bride, and you can do this without attending the party. You’ll be there on her wedding day right? It’s perfectly reasonable for you not to go due to a prior engagement, due to the fact that the date’s been moved at short notice..what if the party had been moved to the date of your husband’s retirement party/mother’s funeral/date with Johnny Depp!? There’s a limit to your obligation as a bridesmaid.

  4. Spindrift says:

    You should go to the concert. you’ve had these plans for several months, and you should not suffer because of her whims. Just tell her you have had these pans and cannot change them now. Period. If she gets attitude oh well. You have your own life and you cannot be expected to alter all your plans for her convenience.

  5. Sam says:

    I would consider the infraction much more dire if you were the maid of honor. She’s the one who changed the dates, not you. Simply explain to her your situation and see how she feels about it. She can’t expect everyone to change their plans to accommodate her, particularly when she is the one rearranging the dates. Go to the concert. Just don’t miss the wedding!

  6. Ava Ou says:

    Tell her that you have an important work or project to finish. If you really want to go to concert, I think a kind lie is to respect your friend, You may buy her a special gift to bless her in advance.
    How about a pair of newlyweds made of clay, which is special and full of bless.

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