Wedding questions? Is this rude? Can you give me some ideas?

November 25th, 2010

I’ve always been more of a “Lets just go to Vegas and tell everyone when we get back” type of girl. So I have a few questions.

1) How far in advanced do you need to send out invites? In general? And if you have people who need to fly in for the wedding?

2) If you have a lot of family out of state, is it rude not to pay for a hotel for them to stay in? Is there a polite way to let them know if they come to the wedding they’d have to pay for that themselves?

3) Is there a way to skip the ceremony? Can we get married but invite people to a reception only? I still want pictures with friends and family, and the cake 😀 But would am not really keen on the traditional ceremony. (though I’ve gone back and forth on the idea)

Any ideas on how to plan a wedding for someone who’s not into crowded areas with everyone staring at her would be great 😀

5 Responses to “Wedding questions? Is this rude? Can you give me some ideas?”

  1. Suz123 says:

    Go with your number 3. See planning info here:

    1. Plan the Vegas wedding, just you and your groom.

    2. Parents and family can watch (from home) via an internet broadcast of the ceremony.

    3. Upon your return home, host a reception for everyone then.

    This way you get an intimate ceremony . . . just you and your groom . . . while others still feel that they have been a part of your day.

  2. You asked! says:

    LOL im with you on that one! We got engaged in vegas and so should have gotten married while we were there! :0)

    1) up to 3 months in advance for members in the same town. 6 months for people out of town

    2) here in New Zelaand its certainly not expected to have the accomodation paid for, but you could suss out a range of motels etc in the area and try to work out a discounted rate if most of the out of town guests stay there.

    3) if you want to have a private ceremony, go for it. On the invitations just say that you are having an intimate ceremony but would love to celebrate by having a reception with all your family and friends

    If you arent into crowded areas, try and outdoor wedding, so aim to have it in summer, maybe if you want it casual and a family member has a big back yard you could put up a huge marquee and keep it relaxed.

    MOST IMPORTANTLY: its your day, dont let anyone talk you into having something you dont want! anything is possible 🙂

  3. Samantha M says:

    My husband and I eloped in June and ad a reception in September. I would recommend it to everyone I know; it takes a lot of stress out of the whole thing.

    No one should expect you to pay for the hotel stays for your wedding. If you planned on having a lot of people there, you could recommend a hotel in your invitations, as they may be able to give you a group rate, but I believe there needs to be 10 or more rooms.

    I would recommend, especally if you are inviting out-of-towners, that you send the invitations out at least two months in advance.

    Good luck in your marriage!

  4. mindyg1984 says:

    Congrats! I have the same kind of philosophy that you do, my fiancee on the other hand wants to go all in on a huge wedding. We have decided to split the difference and have only close family and friends at the ceremony around 20 people, then invite anyone and everyone we and our parents want to the reception with cake, mints and drinks. I do not feel that you should pay for the hotel, most people know if they are flying in and nobody has a guest room or couch for them to stay on (as would be mentioned in adavance) that they will be needing to pay for their own hotel. And as far as invites i think etiquette is 2 months

  5. Lauren says:

    Basically you want to have a destination wedding. As far as destination weddings are concerned, its best to send invites out at least six months in advance so that your guest can prepare for the cost of attending to your wedding from different locations. If you want just a small group or just the two of to attend the ceremony, then you should just create reception invites, but by all means make sure all invited attend the reception so that no one feels left out of those who you invite. Your invitations in this case can be simple and not expensive at all because you are mainly inviting people to your reception.

    There are many great areas besides in Vegas to have an non-crowded wedding ceremony. Check out the link below for more information; I hope this helps and Congrats to you on your wedding.

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