wedding plans ideas to keep all of us happy?

May 3rd, 2011

My boyfriend and I are getting married June 2011. This is his second marriage with me and he has two kids. I have three kids and has never been married. There is a ten year age difference with us as well. I did not want a big wedding at all and he is in agreement with that. I almost decided on the courthouse, but he wanted the kids to be able to see us get married. I am not close with my mother and my father is deceased, and I also dont deal with my family alot and I think that weddings are more nice with a big family. And I always wanted to get married in a church. We eventually decided to get married at the church with 50 people and have a cake and punch reception-also will add a meat and cheese tray, pasta salad, dips, rolls and fruit. We are on a heavy budget because of five kids. The only decorations will be candles all around the church. Wedding party will only be the children. What else can I do to make the wedding affordable, but yet nice for the children and my boyfriend. While I really do not want to do anything but go to the courthouse and maybe a little restaurant dinner with a few close people.

4 Responses to “wedding plans ideas to keep all of us happy?”

  1. thisjustin says:

    The children can go with you to the courthouse.You can call and ask how many people can attend and invite those you invite to dinner after. If you choose to go with the church wedding it sounds as if you have every thing covered.

  2. Messykatt says:

    This is garbled. You say you’ve always wanted to get married in a church, and then at the end you say all you want to do is go to the courthouse. So it’s hard to say. The kids can be at the courthouse with you…call your local office and ask how many you can bring. Then just go out to dinner with them to celebrate. Another option would be to compare costs of an officiant vs courthouse fees. You can find officiants in the yellow pages or on craigslist. If this is cheaper, plan the wedding at home in your backyard or garden, where you can do all sorts of things. And then maybe you could get a nice barbecue place to cater it. They’re not expensive and it often comes out to 10-12 dollars per person. Or just go out somewhere nice after the ceremony.

  3. Confused1 says:

    Go to a dinner at a restaurant where it’s somewhere nice but affordable. Ask them if you can get a discount for bringing in a certain amount of people.

    Good luck!

  4. cathnmike says:

    You do sound a bit confused about what you actually want. I think you need to sit down with your boyfriend and discuss what is the most important thing for the two of you. Forget what anyone else wants. You won’t please everyone and this is your day, not anyone else’s.

    Second marriages are always difficult to get the balance right. My husband and I had a similar problem. He had been married before, I hadn’t. My parents wanted a big wedding, I didn’t. In the end, we went with just his three children and my three best friends, and had a lovely, very quiet Civil wedding with a meal just for those people afterwards. I loved it. It caused some problems with my family but it was what I wanted and for us it was the perfect day.

    That’s what you need to do. Work out what is your perfect day. Then go for it.

    If you’ve already booked the church and reception then just make the most of that. You don’t need to spend a lot of money to make it memorable. Write your own vows. Have some of the kids do a reading. Depending on their age, maybe ask them to write a poem and read it. One of my husband’s daughters loves to play the guitar so she sang a song at our wedding and it was such a lovely memory. And it costs nothing.

    Invest in a unity candle (you can find them online quite cheaply) and make sure whoever is officiating makes a space in the ceremony for lighting it. Get one child from each family to light the two small candles, then you and your husband take each of those and together light the big candle, symbolizing the two families coming together. We did that and it worked so well.

    If you have little kids, buy them a tub of bubble liquid each and ask them to blow bubbles over you instead of confetti – it looks great on photos.

    All those things also make your kids feel more involved, and that’s important.

    But most of all, enjoy your day.

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