My husband and I are newly weds and sex is such a big problem. It’s my fault, I’m really messed up but I don’t want him to have to suffer. 4 years ago I came from my country to the US to go to college. I met this american boy who I fell in love with and we got married!! We started dating half way through first year, and got married at the end of senior year so we were together for a good 4 years before we got married, but we didn’t have sex. In my country, sex is different (sort of). The wives aren’t meant to enjoy it and if it looks to their husbands like they are enjoying it then he will think she is a sl*t and sometimes it leads to divorce, other times the husband will just get uncomfortable with her and the marriage goes really bad. It sort of like they are in denial that it feels good for us too, and to an extent I feel like I am the same. My husband is the exact opposite. He asks me where I want him to touch me and what I want him to do to me but I just can’t say. I can’t express myself sexually or else I feel like a s.lut. Even when I know that I want something from him, or I want to do something to him I can’t tell him or just do it. I love him so much and it hurts that I can’t give him what he wants. We have been over this so many times but nothing is changing. I can’t even say words like “sex” out loud, let alone anything more. He always asks me to express myself during sex but I just don’t make a sound. I feel like it’s embaressing, and wrong.
Do other ladies feel the same or is it just me? What should I do? Please give me any advice that will help me!!
I don’t want to feel like a porn star or something.. but I know he’s my husband and I shouldn’t feel that way but I do, you can’t forget how you were brought up for 17 years..