Sex is the last thing on my mind, anyone else feel like this?

July 1st, 2011

Im getting married later this month and in the process of building a house and getting it ready to move into, my fiance is great although most of the work so far has been undertaken by me, if builders need something they ring me as he lives 60 miles away, every detail of the weddding has been organised by myself and i have a 9 year old son to raise also, who is my responsibility, my fiance is good with him but he is not his father so all aspects of my son’s life lie with me, from buying stuff for the house, meeting with the carpenter etc etc to writing wedding invites i feel over whelmed, i dont say it to my fiance because there is’nt much more he can do so i just get on with it, bottom line is im in no form for sex at all, last night we had sex, it was like rape, i lay there about as turned on as the light bulb, thinking i must buy shoes for my son for the wedding, have to meet the florist, need bed linen, my mind was buzzing a million miles away, i couldnt switch it off, i reckon my fiance thinks i dont love him or im gone completely cold or possible im the most unaffectionate person ever but i just cant get my mind on sex when i’ve so much more going on, does anyone know where im coming from, am i being selfish, i do know once the wedding is over and we’ve moved in things will be a lot more relaxed, any tips or advice, i was’nt sure which category to chose so i chose this one in the hope of mature answers and experience
Ok thanks for the comments so far, in response to lifes tough or whatever u call yourself, i do love him but as one person said im not bloody wonder woman if i dont have the energy i dont have it, i never said i was giving sex up or didnt ever want it again, at the moment we’ve to priorities, do i want sex every night or a roof over my head, i’ll take the roof for now and when its on i’ll have more time to put into my sex life also to Monica im a girl writing this not a man!!! The rape thing was just to emphasise how painful it was cos i so not turned on or in the right frame of mind, i’ve often woke in the middle of the night or 1st thing in the morning and had sex straight away cos i was relaxed and had nothing on my mind

8 Responses to “Sex is the last thing on my mind, anyone else feel like this?”

  1. Dude says:

    There is nothing wrong with you

  2. BeautyTver says:

    You’re just tired and preoccupied with lots of things that need to be done! You need a vacation, seriously!!! Your husband also needs to take some of the responsibilities – you can’t do all the work! You’re not a wonder woman ok? Please get some rest!

  3. lifes tough says:

    well sex is an important part in any marriage,if u dont feel like it,that shows u arent in love wid him,or u arent attracted to him…at all? i can understand u have liabilities towards ur son,its easier to handle those things b4 marriage coz after the knot is tied,fights might arise…i wish u all the best..just try to calm ur mind & think is he the one u wana marry?although i know it might be too late for that …

  4. Monica says:

    You both were just probably tired and need some sleep. If she didn’t complain she is just asleep. I have awoken to my husband starting to make love to me and never felt like it was rape. Just ask her in the morning how she feels and bring her breakfast in bed even if you just go get some sanwiches.

  5. Hobgoblin says:

    You got a lot on your mind, Ever ask someone that just lost a loved one if they want to get it on. I haven’t and despite what hollywood may say, I suspect the answer would be no

    Didn’t care for the rape reference btw, thats a pretty serious thing there, kinda would have liked it better if you had said you just were not into it. but I get your point

    But fear not…… you will not be as you are now for long, Things will change, they always have and they always will. I am sure your libido will return, and when it does, you should do something nice for your man to make up for the making him feel bad. and make sure when you do whatever you tell him you are doing it to make up for this specific one night. He will love you all the more for it.

  6. Jacko says:

    Hmmmmm.. I would exercise a little caution if I were you.
    What makes you think everything will be OK once you get married?
    I think your prospective husband should definitely be doing SOMETHING?
    Is this how it’s going to be after you’re married….YOU doing EVERYTHING?
    Why not give HIM something to do, something that will take a lot of effort on his part, and see if he’s still ‘up for it’
    You will also find out if he’s WILLING to work hard for the relationship, and also CAPABLE.
    Best of luck for the future.

  7. Pearl says:

    You are very busy at the moment and sound like you are getting a bit stressed out by it all. You need to learn to relax a bit, if you have loads of “must do’s” buzzing in your head at night, get up and make a list and then put it out of your mind.

    Dont forget that sex is meant to be pleasurable, and should be a way of relaxing rather than an extra demand. Are you in the habit of trying to take it all on, from being a single mother, start to get your fiance involved in your son’s needs, he should be anyway to form a proper bond between them, you are not on your own any more and you DONT have to manage it all by yourself. Learn to let go and lean on your partner a bit.

  8. Jeff says:

    he nneds to take on some of the responsibilities. but you seriously need a vacation, yall should get away for the weekend and leave your son with a sitter, turn off the cell phones and have a romantic get away. and just relax and have some fun. planning a wedding can be very stressful and then add to it building a house, and your daily routine. i can’t even imagine how stressed you are. hire a wedding coordinator, take a vacation and have some fun. and make it a point to de-stress every evening. take a hot bath, read a book, and laugh a lot. you sound like you are ready to explode.

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