When i got engaged i asked my three closest girlfriends to be my bridesmaids. I’m planning my wedding on my own and two out of the three have been extremely supportive, going with me to appointments and helping me plan. My third bridesmaid however, blows me off every time. I had to pull teeth to get her to go pick out her dress, and she went with me to buy their shoes once, six months ago. My other two are with me at least once or twice a week helping me. Every time i plan events she comes up with some excuse to not go, she wouldnt even pick up her dress and i had to send one of my helpfull ones to go get it for me because the boutique was closer to her house than mine. Her dress has been sitting at my house for 3 months and she’s missed every alterations appointment, and every time she says she’s going to come get it she shuts off her phone. I try to call her to keep her involved and tell her about things to try to get her to come and she doesnt even return my phonecalls half the time, at one point she didnt call me back for 2 months. I’m to the point where i dont rely on her to do anything, and she’s missed all the planning. She’s always been a little flakey but i didnt think she’d act like this about my wedding because she’s always been there in the past for way less serious events. I’m extremely hurt by her lack of actions and that she hasnt been there for me with everything.
My fiance thinks i shouldnt give her the dress now because he thinks she’s not going to come through in the end, and is even talking about me replacing her.
I dont know what to do, she’s my friend but she’s really hurt me by not being there, and she’s making me nervous if she’ll be there on my day. She’s made alot of promises she’s broken with my wedding, so i dont trust her completely to come through. And now i’m afraid to confront her on it because, what can she really do at this point?, she’s already missed everything.
So do i kick her out of my wedding?.. ask her if she wants to be relieved of her bridesmaid duties?.. just let it go?.. confront her on it?.. or just pray that she snaps out of it and comes through in the end?
-Engaged & Confused
i dont expect much from my bridesmaids, yes my other two are with me ALOT but its because they insist and enjoy it. i’m not asking her to be that involved i’m just really dissappointed that this entire production has been done without her. i’m dissappointed that when i look back and i think about registering with them or shopping with them or the planning lunches we have.. she’s not apart of anything. i’m not going to be able to look back on anything and say “[she] did that for me”.
and secondly, yes i try to keep up with her and its not ALL about the wedding, i left her several voicemails inviting her over just to hang out, i invite her to all the lunches/dinners we host that have nothing to do with the wedding.
i’m extremely dissappointed in her with my wedding yes, but sometimes more as a person, she’s not been a very good friend and i dont know why. i miss her, and i wish she was apart of this.