Newlyweds having trouble 2 1/2 months into marriage! Husbands seems distant.. constantly gaming/sex drive down?

April 17th, 2010

When we first got together he played computer games on his PC and he wasn’t on it ALL THE TIME. And we’d stay up ALL NIGHT having sex. Hell we’d even fall asleep having sex. He would say I was depriving him if I didn’t give him sex at least 6 days a week! The wedding stress kicked in and we stopped having so much sex. He complained, I had a MILLION things to do…. I had an overtime project at my job going on too so sleep was limited. It was just crazy. Everyone said it was normal and once we were done with the wedding we’d be back to our old selves. Well the honeymoon came… a WEEK in the bahamas and we only had sex ONCE. And it was AFTER I begged him. Pathetic I know. He said he just wasn’t in the mood. We had sex maybe 4 times the 1st month after our honeymoon. We have sex probably twice a week now and it’s KILLING ME. He just got a PS3 too and so now he’s on it ALL THE TIME.. I mean I’m cooking, he’s on it. I’m cleaning he’s on it. I wanna have sex with him, he’s chilling.. playing the game… “just let me relax”…. Before we got married he used to call and write me EVERYDAY, despite his boss getting grumpy about it. His boss is a hypocrit and talks to his wife all day, even brings her up to the shop.. it’s just him and my husband in the shop. It’s small… But whatever, getting off topic.ANYWAYS, I ask him to limit the game, help out more with cleaning and HAVE MORE SEX WITH ME! Drop me a line before work, ya know? I love you, glad you’re alive! And nothing changes. Last night, RIGHT after sex while I’m cleaning myself up I look in the living room and he’s on the game before I’m even OUT of the bathroom! What the fuck! Then he asks me what’s wrong, I tell him I need more physical attention and want more foreplay in our sex, but not to worry about it because I know he doesn’t wanna hear it. He says “okay then can you go watch tv in the room so I can play my game out here” WHAT THE FUCK! Is gaming like crack to guys? idk.. but i need help. two months into my marriage and i’ve never felt lonelier in my life. =( I try lingerie, whispering in his ear, shaking my ass right in his damn face and he just looks at me “why are you being crazy. just sit down and chill”…. i HATE his game. I hate it!
Call of Duty 4 – Modern Warfare 2. The devil.
My husband makes me feel like a sex crazed maniac! When I bring it up now he says “remember when you were to busy from school, work and planning the wedding to do anything with me and I would sit and get all upset over it. Well now you see how it feels” and he also says” I JUST got this game. It will eventually get out of my system. You know when I had the computer game I wasn’t constantly on it. Be more understanding! Oh and I can’t be on the internet AT ALL when he’s on it because it makes him lag… so I gotta sit in our room and watch tv till he’s done. for HOURS. and he doesn’t really want me running off and hanging out without him. just be a good wife and sit. I’m gonna weigh 600 lbs from all this sitting in the room! aaaaaaaaaaagggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh

12 Responses to “Newlyweds having trouble 2 1/2 months into marriage! Husbands seems distant.. constantly gaming/sex drive down?”

  1. ???? says:

    get counseling . he should pay MORE attention to you and not play video games!

  2. Buster Hymen says:

    LOL…….what game is it??????
    games are crack!…..but only to people who are under alot of stress… relieves it !

  3. Quiet Ripples says:

    I would have asked you to hang on and sort things out if these were marital problems. However, though the consequences are marital issue, the root is not. The root is excessive addiction to video games. There has to be a balance in life for everything, and that balance has been lost here.

    The only way to get him out of it is to jolt him out of it. Tell him that you are walking out, and start packing your bags. That should jolt him up and make him realize what he is losing. And if he still does not, I am sorry, baby, but you should seriously start looking forward.

    PS: Not all guys are addicted to games; there are a lot out there who has some sanity in them. Perhaps you picked the wrong pebble which turned out to be just rock; a better may just be around the brook.

    Wish you the best, sweetie!

  4. Quixotic says:

    The game is merely a symptom of some underlying problem. Figure out what’s *really* going wrong in your relationship/marriage and the gaming issue will disappear.

  5. Bre says:

    I’m never getting married.

  6. Some Girl says:

    Well all that the both of you can do is be honest. You tell him, in a very honest and non critical way, what your bottom line. Keep in my mind, your bottom line should still allow him to play games… just make sure you tell him what you need from the relationship. Then ask him to be honest with you. Can he give you what you need from the relationship? Don’t try to force him into anything. Just tell him what you want and ask him if he can give you that. The more you try to force him or control him, the more he will withdraw from you and the relationship. To be honest, if you act needy (constantly seeking attention) he will definitely be less interested in you.

    I had gone through a lot of emotional things prior to getting married and I wanted my new husband to be there every minute, talking, kissing, whatever. And as I smothered him with my neediness, he withdrew. As he got more distant, I got more needy. It is a vicious cycle.

    Be independent. Be confident. Be happy. Ask for what you need, don’t beg for it. Accept who he is that you can’t change him. Decide if that is something that you can live with and be happy… or if it is something you can’t deal with… get going, move on!

  7. Hotmama says:

    Its called compromise! If he cant respect you then you should tell him that your out. Hes already checked himself out of the marriage so why shouldnt you? You deserve better than that. My husband has a ps3 and we had the same problem. But once I sat him down and talked to him about how it was making me feel, he felt really bad and said that he never meant to hurt me or make me feel like that. So we worked out a plan. Every 30 or 45 min he comes in the room to give me some attention. Whether it be cuddling talking or being frisky. The time goes by soooo fast for them that they dont realize that they have been on it for hours!

  8. Bill C says:

    He’s addicted, and he is not alone. Neither are you.

  9. Annie says:

    Maybe he is feeling stress from being married and having you depend on him. I would give it some time. You are newly married, so maybe it will get better when he’s feeling settled in his new role of being a husband.

  10. who_r_u101 says:

    You should get into gaming, it’s quite fun. Yuo can let him tea bag you on halo.

    PS. Get some counselling,

  11. Jerome says:

    He could try viagra but I will tell ya what, that stuff sucks. The side effects are terrible. Has he ever tried a sexual enhancer? I was in his situation, like I said, viagra was tried but it wasn’t for me considering the side effects overwhelm the pleasures of it. I found this natural herbal enhancer and figured what the heck, if it’s natural it must be great and plus it said no side effects. I tried it and after about two days of taking it I was just horny like a mad man. All the time, I have erections that want to stand straight up and the orgasms are to die for. The stuff was called vigrx plus and I saved on it at the time at You should tell him to check it out. I love the fact it’s made from a researched blend of herbs that seem to do the trick for me atleast.

    Good luck and I hope this helps.

  12. says:

    Yes, he is addicted, but not to you.*

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