Mom won’t come to my wedding?

December 27th, 2010

We’re getting married on Friday. It’s not so much traditional, we’re just going in front of the judge and then when we both get done with our deployments(army) then we plan on having just a huge family gathering and renewing our vows. I just found out today that we’re getting married this soon but he goes back to Afghanistan Sunday and I asked my mom to be my witness and now she won’t talk to me. I don’t get it. She loves my fiance…I’m not sure if it’s the judge thing or what but I could really use a few encouraging words from anyone right now. I just feel like my mom should be like the 3rd most important person behind me and the man….at our wedding and it’s killing me that she’s acting like this. : (
Lady I’m in the military too…We’ve been together this whole time…through his one and my two deployments…I think we can handle this…and that is so not what I asked for it is in fact rude of you. But everyone else thank you for that. I can only keep trying to get her to talk to me.

8 Responses to “Mom won’t come to my wedding?”

  1. silly_duck96 says:

    I really think you should wait until he gets back. Deployment can RUIN relationships. Just wait until you can have a real wedding.

  2. DigitalDiva says:

    You should really talk to her about it and tell her how important it is to you and your FH that she be there for your wedding day. It sounds to me like she is just disappointed that you are not going to have the traditional wedding she may have always wanted to be a part of. However, it’s not fair of her to take it out on you this way.

    I hate to say it, but if she still refuses to go, then I might consider waiting until after all the deployments are through to get married. I know you want to do it now, but take into consideration how you might feel down the road if you regret her not being there on your wedding day. This has the potential to cause a huge rift in the relationship between you and your mother.

  3. Micah M says:

    Congrats are in order. Happy early marriage.

  4. jr.ellis08 says:

    I think that you should do what’s best for you and your fiance and if that means getting married now and having a re-do later than so be it. Your mom might be upset that you are not going to have the wedding she would like you to have, she probably wants more you the both of you. I think that she could already be having a rough time dealing with the deployments and now she’s going to see her daughter get married in front of a judge. I am not bashing you in anyway. I would just talk to your mom face to face and tell her how you feel and let her know that it is important for her to be there with you when you go friday. She might be upset now but I don’t think she’d miss her daughter getting married for the world.

  5. Pookie says:

    My bets that your mom is upset that your wedding day isn’t going to be as grand as she always had dreamed it would be. I think shes loosing touch on whats important, and that’s that your happy and have found a wonderful man to stand beside you for life.

    Talk to your mom, write her a letter even, express to her that your upset she isn’t speaking with you and your almost positive that its because of the wedding. Dont ask her why, explain to her that you understand that this might not be the way she always envisioned it for you, but right now you need your mother more then ever and your hoping that she can come around and be happy for you.

  6. Nora says:

    go talk to your Mom and ask her what the problem is. try to resolve it and get her to come.

  7. Alice says:

    I can understand how hurt you are that your mother does not want to attend your wedding as your witness. You need to have a talk with her and lay all your cards out on the table, and be receptive to what she has to say as well. You’re right, the only thing you can do is keep trying to talk to her…and maybe she will open up and tell you exactly what it is about this issue that is bothering to her. It is going to be hard to figure out until she tells you what is wrong…Hopefully after you talk about it you two will be able to reconcile the issue, or at least, she will be able to set her opinions aside to be there for you as a mother.

  8. :) says:

    I know how you feel. My mom almost didn’t come to my wedding either because she started a new job the month before I got married. She may be disappointed that your not having a more formal wedding. To bad she’s going to miss out on one of the most important days of your life. I would just leave the invitation open.. and if she comes. she comes. If she doesn’t then that is on her.

    Your both in the military. It’s not like you can plan a wedding, and expect everything to go off without any problems. You’ve had to make many sacrifices to be with the one person that you love most. I understand that. Im a military spouse myself. Just plan your wedding, and find another witness. I hope you have a good honeymoon.

    Just one more thing: THANK YOU! For serving to keep us safe here back at home. THANK YOU! For keeping our freedoms free!

    Good luck, and Congrats!

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