Is it rude to go out to dinner without your wedding witnesses?

March 12th, 2011

My fiance and I are in our early forties. We are planning to get married at 4:30pm at the courthouse and want to go to dinner alone afterward. Our witnesses are my son (who is 21 years old), and either a friend of mine or a friend of my fiance’s. Even though we would like to invite them to dinner, we think it would be awkward. I was thinking of giving them each a nice gift as a thank you.
Yeah, that’s kind of what I thought too, but was having a hard time explaining that to my fiance.

9 Responses to “Is it rude to go out to dinner without your wedding witnesses?”

  1. Old Fogey says:

    I would think that if they are going to be witnesses for your wedding the least you could do is spring for a meal.

  2. Lala Faris says:

    i think you should invite them for dinner, since they were present at an important time in both your lives. I think it would be a way rude to not invite them. You and your husband can go out to dinner any other day alone, but for that night exclusivly you should take them into consideration and invite them.

  3. dadnbob says:

    It would probably be okay but I think it would be nice to take them to dinner too…..make it a party. You could quietly ask your son his opinion, if he would be offended or not, not to go to dinner.

  4. miss_cris101 says:

    It does sound quite rude, yes. How can having dinner with your own son be awkward? If they are your witnesses then one of the two of you obviously know them well enough. I reckon it would be more awkward to go – “here’s a gift, see ya!”

  5. diamondcollector says:

    i would take them to dinner.

  6. Macy the Wedding Planner says:

    How about this idea:
    Take your son and the other witness to a late lunch and present the gifts at that time, then go to the courthouse, get married and leave the courthouse to go on “honeymoon” after the ceremony. That way, you and your husband get to have dinner alone, yet you have had a nice lunch with your son andoccasiono celebrate! Remembers, a “honeymoon” need not be a week or a month, even just one night can be a honeymoon!

  7. NinaPina says:

    I think that you should take them along to what is essentially your wedding reception. A reception does not have to be a lavish “do” at a posh hotel. It could be an intimate dinner with the people who witnessed the ceremony. BTW, shouldn’t your guests be giving you gifts? Just asking…

  8. Veritas says:

    Take them out to dinner the day before the wedding and give them a gift. Then you and your husband go to dinner by yourselves the day ( night ) of the wedding.

  9. Kelly says:

    Its not mandated that you have to, but it would be a nice gesture plus a nice gift.

    What makes it awkward?

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