Is it a southern thing to be married so young?

April 3rd, 2010

I’m from NY moved to Atl. One of my coworker (22) did everything from going on a radio show (to win a ring) to planned her own a romantic trip just so her bf can propose. Her bf every told her why would he propose when she was the one who planned the trip and something he loves her and sometime he can’t stand her. She hads tantrums when one of her friends are engaged. Went on sites where you can dress your wedding party, picks out dresses & ring. Hangs pics of herself holding a friends baby while sitting next to her BF in her cube and on mysapce. She always saying all her friends are married. Her bf finnnnnally proposed this pass Sat 7/07& the wedding date is (get this) oct/07. Girl has every plan out already. The older women are encouraging this.
She’s just one example of this behavior I’ve encountered living down here so I just wondered if thats is how some are conditioned to be. I know every little girl dreams of their wedding but this is a little much.
1st off eharrah1 I’m proud to be a as you put it “a Yankee” I’m free to live where ever I prefer this is the United States right? So keep your narrow minded attitude to yourself. 2nd this was not a question to try to change things it was a question to understand a different way of living. Nor is this a matter of blaming anything on where one lives. I & some others aren’t use to seeing this push to be married. I understand ppl get married young all the time but to me it’s more pronounced down here. The 22 is not the issue, it’s the “I have no other goals in life but to be married attitude”.

15 Responses to “Is it a southern thing to be married so young?”

  1. Carolyn C says:

    I think it is a cultural thing in the south. They do live for that stuff.

  2. letterstoheather says:

    it sounds like she’s obsessed with getting married, and has no other plans or goals for her life.

    why someone would be so anxious to be STUCK for life with some guy, is beyond my realm of comprehension

  3. Fireball226 says:

    im from NY also and i married at 21 the first time….depends on the person..

  4. plentyofanswershere says:

    Well when me and my then bf asked me to marry him we only dated 9 months and no i wasnt pregnant..he asked me and we went down to the court house…I would have loved to have a wedding but I was only 20 and he was 23 so we really couldnt afford…but we are still very happy today…7 years later

  5. kelly a says:

    back in the old days it was the tradition in the south to be married super young. but we have come a long way as i got married to my husband when we were in our 30’s.

  6. pinkfleurpetals says:

    No, it is not a cultural thing, more like a religious thing. My family is from the south, and a lot of people look for relationships young if the whole family are church goers. You are supposed to get married and start popping out the kids. But I must say, 22 is not THAT young to get married.

  7. BeccaBoo says:

    follow your heart.

  8. cinnatigg says:

    Not everybody in the south acts like that. You don’t know what all goes on in their relationship or anybody elses. I live in Marietta, and tell you what, I know plenty of people who aren’t married that are around that age. Yes, I am 22 and I am married, but I didn’t run him down in the ground for it. We married because we were ready AND we had been together for almost 6 years. Oh, and on top of that, we had a child together. People are different in every region, don’t blame things on where a person lives.

  9. olderbutwiser says:

    Being from the South myself, and proud of it, I worry about our kids wanting to get married so young. I had three kids myself, and taught them to marry only when they’re ready, and not to let society dictate to them when they should. The oldset two are married, got married in their late twenties. The youngest is 27 and not yet married.

  10. eharrah1 says:

    22 is not that young. Maybe you yankees should go home and quit trying to come down here wanting to change things. If you don’t like our lifestyle, then go back to NY where you belong.

  11. itsallaboutthehat says:

    I was 20 and my husband was 23 when we got married. I’m from Chicago and he’s from California. We dated for 2 months and had a 6 month engagement. It could be cultural, but in the end it depends on the couple. We were ready for it, and though we have little squabbles, they are resolved quickly and we are so perfect for each other.

  12. TB28 says:

    Well the BF sounds a bit unsure of the whole thing and she seems rather obsessed with getting married, so I would not call that normal or healthy. Marrying young, however, is not necessarily a bad thing at all. you’ll find people marrying young in every corner of the globe.

  13. dad says:

    Yes it is i was married to a southern girl that’s all they think about is marriage in the most part i think its to get away from the parents . That’s not all your going to see that’s going to creep you out if you stay there longer . Things like cousins together , Two woman in each household . There motto is if she,s old enough to bleed she,s old enough to breed .The song of the south. What do you really thing the civil war was about?

  14. Raster T says:

    Geography or cultural-geography has nothing to do with it. The same trends can be found in urban settings in the north and the west, other cultural groups such as hispanics and blacks.

    Family tends to be the greatest influence I have seen on the decision of when to begin thinking of marriage. Economic prospects (are you in college, are you looking to enter the workforce) seems to be another strong influence.

    I think you are looking at this situation through a soda straw and only seeing a small slice of what is going on.

  15. boohoo says:

    I am not sure if it is a southern thing but I did get married at 20 and had about 350 people at my wedding. Oh, and I am from the south! It was a big deal with me and all my friends. If someone is in their upper 20’s, people feel sorry for the girl if she isn’t married.

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