i am planning a very small family only wedding?

June 30th, 2011

But i am wanting to have a reception for all our extended family and friends. were planning on getting married fairly soon but im not to sure on the etiquette on how long is too long to wait on the reception. is 3 to 4 mos too long for a finger food and cake reception?
ok to all of those that think im clueless… im not. first of all i know its not an actual “reception” i just wasnt sure how else to word it. secondly the main reason were wanting to wait is that my father recently passed away and he was very well known in our community. this day will be hard enough to not have him there and so were wanting to keep it just family but because we know so many people we would like to share our wedding celebration with everyone. i was told by someone that did this with their wedding due to family issues they waited 4 mos after they got married. i thought that was a little long to wait but because ive never been married before i thought i would ask. for those of you who were polite thanks i appreciate the advice! 2-3 weeks seems much better!

11 Responses to “i am planning a very small family only wedding?”

  1. HIS! says:

    A reception should take place immediately after the wedding. If you want to have a party to celebrate the wedding, it will be “old news” after a month. The party should happen immediately after you return from your honeymoon. A couple weeks, 3 at the most.

  2. Jude says:

    We did something similiar… we got married abroad with only a handful of close friends and family there and had an evening reception when we came back from our honeymoon for our extended family and other friends.

    I would have your reception as soon as you can though, don’t leave it 3 or 4 months. We had ours 3 weeks after our wedding day.

  3. Deborah McCoy says:

    Hello… Any reception hosted after the wedding date is not technically considered a wedding reception. Rather, it is a party is hosted in honor of the newly married couple, and it may occur at any time–although I think it would be best to host the party within a few months of the wedding.

  4. Mrs. Connors! says:

    If you can, why not wait until the weather is warm…get married say, on a fri/sat evening and video the wedding. Rent a park pavilion the next day, have it pot luck and have a wedding celebration for family/friends…and play the wedding video for all to see. It would all be very inexpensive and current!

  5. Heather says:

    We are doing the same. Will be getting married on a Tuesday with only 13 people present then the reception is that Friday night for about 150 people. It is usually pretty close to the wedding date, have never heard of it being 4 or 5 months down the road

  6. Aphrodite ☼UHave2Be is my IDOL says:

    I’m not sure what is preventing you from having a reception the same day as your wedding?

    To me, if your reception is not within a few days for your ceremony – it is just a party, not a reception.

  7. Because I Said So says:

    I’ve been to about 25 weddings all over the US and have never heard of anyone doing that. people post that idea on here all the time but I say you get one guest list. if you want a small ceremony, you have a small reception period. it seems gauche to me to ask people to bring you gifts later when they weren’t invited to witness your vows. it’s like a slap in the face.

  8. Samantha says:

    Don’t use the word “reception” because apparently that irks a LOT of people on here. So you want to celebrate your wedding after your ceremony? To be honest, I think 3-4 months is an awkward amount of time. I mean, you didn’t JUST get married, nor is it your anniversary. I would suggest either wait a year or make sure that the celebration is within a month of your getting married.

    I have to ask though… why is it that you don’t want to have both on the same day? Is it budget reasons? If so, 3-4 months isn’t THAT long of a time to wait until you exchange vows. Or is it because you want a no-fuss wedding but simply to celebrate your marriage with your loved ones, but you consider your vows to be a sacred, personal moment, and you’ll just want to be together alone after that?

  9. NinaPina says:

    You should have only one wedding. If you have a small wedding, that fine. Do not try to make up for it by having a fake reception 3 to 4 months down the road. That would seem foolish. Have a rocking anniversary party instead.

  10. Liz says:

    You are so clueless it makes my eyes water. First of all, you cannot have a reception months after the wedding ceremony. A reception, by definition, is the party the newly married couple gives for their friends and relatives to thank them for attending their wedding. And that brings me to the other, even more glaring faux pas you’re planning to commit. You can never, ever invite people to the reception that weren’t invited to the wedding ceremony. What you’re telling them is “you are not important enough to be invited to share our special moment with us, but by all means, come to the party and bring us presents”. Please go and buy a book on etiquette and educate yourself.

  11. iloveweddings says:

    Hi. 3-4 months is too long for a “reception.” A reception is immediately following a wedding. If you are having a destination wedding, then it would be okay may 2-3 weeks later…but not 3-4 months. Finger foods and cake should not cost too much so make this much, much sooner. Why not the same day? You can have a family only wedding and then a small reception for everyone on the same day. Just make sure on the invitation that you state something like:

    A private wedding will be held earlier in the day.

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