i am in need of major help in the bed with my boyfriend please help me….(guys if possible answer)?

May 24th, 2011

OK me and my fiance have been going out now a year next month on the 8th…we started out having sex everyday and it was great it was just a few months ago when the sex slowed down to not everyday but every so many days and OK i thought that was normal, but the problem is and this has been an on going problem for some reason my boyfriend cant ejaculate just from me and it makes me feel really bad! i have tried talking about it with him but he just gets irritated and it really doesn’t help the matter. i asked him the other day is he cheating on me because i have had that problem before and he said no and i honestly believe him because besides in bed we have a great relationship its just this part which is frustrating to me. i asked him if it was me he said had nothing to do with me and sometime when we argue we don’t even have sex because he feels tension and doesn’t want to get into that mood. OK but my question i am trying to get at is why can my fiance ejaculate quite easily when he for one masturbates, or when we are having sex only when he see’s a porn?? granted i like watching them too with him but it makes me feel shitty in bed when that’s the only time he can cum…..like yesterday we had sex for about 45 min and it kind of seemed like he was trying way to hard , he got hot and sweaty and stopped because he got mad he could not cum. 20 minutes goes by and he randomly puts in a porn sure enough he cums ! i feel shitty what am i doing wrong?? now we haven’t had sex since wed and he cant cum just from me? please help me and tell me is this a problem?

10 Responses to “i am in need of major help in the bed with my boyfriend please help me….(guys if possible answer)?”

  1. Willabo Ayibanimi says:

    Nope its not.

  2. pitythefool says:

    idk, its his biological clock, i just heard something on loveline Tonight about this some 25 yr old girl said pretty much the same thing, the guy could cum from everything but vaginal intercourse. she was like is he gay, and dr drew chewed her out for being retarded.

    Basically he said, its not the guys fault (well it is, but its his biological clock) and that they will just have to work through it.. and like if you wanna have kids or wahtever.. i suppose he should just beat off and when hes about to blow stick it in ya.

    Its probably just some mental block.. IT doesnt really matter, nothings wrong with you, something is wrong with him, but it sounds manageable.. idk why you’re so disappointed that he cant cu.m .. cant he orgasm? i mean you effectively dont really need much birth control.. which is nice

    My advice is stop beating yourself up over it, its NOT your fault.. just relax. thats just how he is, you need to adapt accordingly. sorry. He can talk to a doctor, but i doubt theres any cure. Its just how his body is.

  3. Ks says:

    FORPLAY!!!…USING SEXTOYS!!…with time this happens..but you need to break the rutien..use new stuff..new places..(not only bed)

  4. Punkindrublic says:

    Its just hard sometimes and its a biological problem. Try doing something different to suprise him. Wake him up by giving him a blow job one morning and he will cum.

  5. Eyfish says:

    you dont turn him on much when you guys have sex do sexual hot stuff let him finger you eat you out etc etc then after tell him to stick that big daddy in and hope he cums for you if he doesn’t then i dont know what the problem is

  6. Guardian A says:

    Hes right about tension, i dont know many guys that can perform while their mind is elsewhere….

    In future, dont bring it up, dont draw attention to it, dont even talk about it… it only makes it worse! act naturally and try being spontaneous! forget the bed! theyre good for sleeping only hun 🙂

    wherever you are if possible, lounge room, kitchen, car park beach, and your both aroused if not, instigate something and if your able to perform there! sometimes trying some creativity can spark some excitement and get him going again… If you cant perform there but still aroused get home or to your car and do it !

    you only have to do this a few times and it should make him feel confident again enough to perform again!

    Make sure you pleasure him with loads of foreplay, forget the poon movies, just get hes g spot, everyone has one even guys! yes! find hes weak spot and exploit it! spend a long time until you feel him getting so aroused he would take you and explode into you like a raging bull!

    if its short and sweet, dont worry, make sure you tell him that was great , fantastic! let him know you pleased him and next time it will be longer and more intense!

    all the best

  7. Cool Hwip says:

    ya id say that is a problem is ther guys in this porn? cause it kinda seems like hes not attracted to girls maybe its the guys that hes looking at cause you sould kinky and thats awesome and i could get off with a boring ugly chick so thats wierd id keep talking to him about it see what happens good luck

  8. Billy says:

    I don’t really buy the biological clock argument above entirely. orgasm and ejaculation is the same thing for the guy. I suspect that it is more to do visually with what is going on. The clue here is porn I suspect.

    What you may need to do is change the location you have sex in, may be book a nice hotel, but also you may need to change your lingerie style too. So start off in one color, go for it for a while, then see if you can quickly slip into a different lingerie style/color, try using whipped cream in a can, maybe also try warm chocolate too. Perhaps try different perfumes also.

    But of course you may need to consider the possibility that you may have also changed shape a bit from when you first met. So you may need to address that issue too.

  9. Day says:

    It slows down for every one, not only in your case. Do not draw your own conclusions. Try to connect with your BF in other areas as well. Definitely its not a problem.

  10. kcook_con says:

    It happens. I have had this issue myself. I am a guy. We just stopped having sex for a while. I was having a lot of issues at work and just general life stress was getting to me. I just focused on that for a long time. She used a vibrator and dildo every night in bed. She even made a video for me. It was great. One of the biggest things was that she constantly reassured me that she was not cheating and I reassured her that I was not. We both just focused on our lives for a while. It is not your fault and you are not doing anything wrong. Eventually you will both have to find a balance of taking care of your lives and each other. It takes time and work on both parts.

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