i am a vrgin and i want my wedding night to be romantic, and not spoilt by the pain of my hymen breaking, any?

October 3rd, 2010

my fiance has had sex before and he doesn’t mind doing it before hand, should i do this so my wedding night will be more romantic? what other options are there without having sex before my wedding night? If i do things properly will it stop hurting a little while after we start to have sex?
Will my fiance be disgusted when blood appears on his penis??????
plsssss help even if you can only answer one question?????

15 Responses to “i am a vrgin and i want my wedding night to be romantic, and not spoilt by the pain of my hymen breaking, any?”

  1. Kris says:

    well first maybe you should go to the gyno and make sure your hymen isn’t broken. just bc you are a virgin doesn’t mean your hymen is still intact in fact if you use tampons it is prob. not. no i am sure your husband won’t be disgusted when blood appears but the only way to know for sure would be to ask him that question.

  2. Boo says:

    You could always break it yourself. Go get a sex toy and try. Some girls have barely a few drops of blood, something I doubt he will notice. Besides if he’s prepared for it then he shouldnt be bothered, he obviously loves you enough to marry you.

  3. Jessie_♥ says:

    the 1st time you have sex it is uncomfortable and it usually hurts. movies and shiit make it look amazing and pleasurable..it’s not.

    i would have sex before hand so on your wedding nite you actually enjoy it and it is pleasurable for you on the nite. but its really totally upto you.
    good luck yo.

  4. JJ says:

    I’m planning on waiting until the night of my wedding. Like me, you’ve probably had plenty of opportunity to lose your virginity before your wedding night, so why not go the distance?

    Obviously, I can’t speak to how painful it is, because I haven’t gone through it either, but, apparently, post-adolescence, it usually isn’t as gruesome or painful.

  5. TwistedxKiss says:

    My first time it hurt for about a second and that was it, and there was no way he would have known I was a virgin had I not told him. If you purposefully waited and choose not to hoping to get some grand ordeal out of the way before the wedding and there ISN’T the grand ordeal you are expecting, I think you will be disappointed in yourself. I would just wait and see what happens. Your wedding night will be romantic even if the sex isn’t awesome. You will be too blissfully happy and in love to notice, and you have a lifetime to work out the kinks in your sex life.

  6. NorthernLights says:

    Get a vibrator or a sex toy and break it yourself. The pain will be over and you will have gotten over the shock of something going down there.

    Also, it takes a while for sex to become enjoyable. So you can practice with the toy then on your wedding night you will be pain free and use to the sensations and more likely to feel pleasure.

    Contrary to belief, just breaking your hymen isn’t losing your virginity. It’s only “lost” when you have sex with another person. A toy isn’t that. So breaking your hymen yourself isn’t bad. Sex with a person is completely different than a toy and that’s not really “sex” anyway.

    It will be less stressful and you and your husband can enjoy each other with no worries.

  7. Fallgal says:

    I think if you wait for your wedding night, it will be much more special.

    The main thing to remember is to RELAX. Honestly, if your body is relaxed, all you will probably feel is some pressure. Make sure you and your husband engage in a lot of foreplay so you are well lubricated. Right before he inserts himself, take a deep breath and let it out so your body is relaxed. I think when women anticipate pain, they tense up and it makes it hurt more, that is why you should try to make your body as relaxed as possible. Drink a couple glasses of champagne or wine if you’re not opposed to doing so!

  8. Jane says:

    Just make sure you are so drunk that details like that wont matter. I don’t see the point of losing your virginity the same day as your wedding. Thats like getting a prostate exam on your birthday. Surely you just want to enjoy the day without ruining it.

  9. Katharine the Great says:

    If you’ve waited this long before having sex then I would say wait just a little more. The romance of your honeymoon wont be spoiled by your virginity any more than it was for the millions of other women who waited for their honeymoons. Other options include breaking it yourself with a sex toy or similar object (but do you really want to loose your technical virginity to an object?)… if you’re thinking about going that route I would suggest going to your gynecologist to make sure that you haven’t actually already broken your hymen during regular activities like sports.
    I don’t know of any “proper” way of doing things, but if your fiance is gentle and understanding, and you engage in foreplay then it should stop hurting fairly quickly.
    My fiance was a bit weirded out by blood on his area, but not so much so that it ruined anything. If you’re particularly worried about this you might suggest a quick trip into the shower for some more fun activities, or if your honeymoon has a hot tub, a relaxing soak.
    Being nervous about it is normal, but try your best to relax and enjoy the experience of sharing this intimate moment with the person you’ve chosen to spend the rest of your life with.

  10. Anne-Marie says:

    If you use tampons you might have actually already broken it.
    I actually hear that the first few times, it’s not exactly the best thing ever. I mean you being a virgin, it’s going to take some getting used to.
    Plus I consider it wrong to wear a white wedding dress to your wedding if you aren’t a virgin because the white of the dress is supposed to symbolize purity.
    I don’t know how bad breaking your hymen hurts, but if I’m sure you guys can take your time. It’s not like there’s a time limit.
    Let him know you are scared and you want to take it slow, especially if you starts to hurt, because I think it very well might.
    If this guy loves you like you know he does, he’ll wait.
    Please wait, and it’ll be romantic if you both truly love each other, don’t worry 🙂 That’s about 99.99% of it right there. Love 🙂
    and even though it is 99.99% of what makes it good, you should still wait because premarital sex, even if you are engaged and still cause problems…

  11. Saoirse says:

    If you don’t use tampons already, start to use them. This will break your hymen which is what causes the pain when losing your virginity. While i wouldn’t till my wedding for sex, i do think that if you’ve waited this long, you should keep waiting. Don’t be disappointed if it’s not amazing the first time, as it rarely is!

  12. Nate & Ryan's mom says:

    I don’t think you should worry about any of this. I think when we’re virgins we tend to overthink and overstress the things that might happen our first time. But honestly, if you love the other person and he loves you (which you obviously do or you wouldn’t be getting married) it’s really not that important. It will be romantic because it’s your wedding night, regardless of any mishaps that may occur. Ask him to take it slowly and try not to worry about it. And by the way, sex doesn’t hurt the first time for every girl. You may be fortunate enough to have a pain free first time sex experience. I did.

  13. Oot n Aboot says:

    Mine didn’t hurt. It only bleed after I went to the washroom. If your husband knows your a virgin tell him he might expect some blood the first time. (Or sometimes other times depending on how rough it gets 🙂 ) And if you two are getting married, you shouldn’t be thinking he will be disgusted with natural occurrences of your body. Wait until you’ve been married for 60 years and he’s seen everything from you farting to you pooping yourself at age 84.

  14. Perse says:

    I see no reason to wait until the wedding night. If you don’t want pain and blood on your wedding night, by all means, start having sex now. I don’t know what you’re waiting for, you;re marrying this man, you should know him sexually.

  15. kodak_2057 says:

    Relax and enjoy. More than likely it will hurt a bit, but for me, it only hurt for a bit, then it was fine. Also, if he’s gentle, then you may even be fine to have sex again in a bit, and that probably won’t hurt as much at all. But again, if he is gentle and patient, then it will not hurt as much and as for blood, usually it’s not like your period or anything, and often you won’t see any until maybe a little later as spotting. Nothing huge. Don’t have sex before, it’ll be special on your wedding night.

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