How can I make sex comfortable for a virgin?

May 13th, 2011

I’ve been with my fiance for 4 years. She comes from a very traditional home and is still virgin. Tomorrow is our wedding. Immediately after, we are flying to France for our honeymoon. I was just wondering how can I make sex comfortable for her. We have talked about it before and she is really nervous. I’m not young (I’m 27) or inexperienced or anything. I have been with women (before her) but I’ve never been with a virgin so I don’t really know how to have sex without hurting her… And I know that women bleed when the hymen is broken. Is it going to be a lot of blood? How should I handle the bleeding? I’m worried that she will freak out. She is very innocent and I don’t know how to talk to her about sex. Whenever I bring up the topic she becomes very uncomfortable. How should I do this comfortably? Please help. I’m really worried about this.

10 Responses to “How can I make sex comfortable for a virgin?”

  1. John says:

    Does Mister Rogers ever cover this?

  2. Juler0 says:

    Spread roses on the bed and be very gentle.

  3. Deanna says:

    go very slow- there will be some blood, but not enough to be alarmingly slow. my first time- i didnt even notice it.
    just watch her face and make sure you dont just ram yourself up in her. ease your way in, going slowly so she can adjust.
    shes used tampons before, so its not going to be completely weird for her, and make sure you do everything she says:
    if she wants you out, get out. 🙂

    also dont worry about the bleeding- hotel: maid person will change sheets. you might want a towel so you can still sleep? (IF YOU WILL SLEEP AT ALL :D)

    if she freaks out, its okay, your there with her, calm her and say you are there for her, and that you will be with her every step of the way– part of marital bonding

    and dont worry– she will get used to it and you guys can go crazy real fast.

  4. ASH says:

    Take it slow and do not enter all at 1ce go slow and if it start to hurt stop and hold to give her body time to adjust. and due to tightness staying in can be a problem in some positions try looking at this site it might give an idea to another or to help explain the movement to her it is very detailed
    also it gives information about the 1st time for her and other basic sex info it is a very good site whether your starting like you two or if you want to learn something new later
    this is the 1 for the 1st time

    good luck

  5. energizer704 says:

    Well, first, I recommend not talking about it. This will only make her feel more uncomfortable. Second, when you have sex with a virgin, the best way to break the hymen without causing excessive pain to the recipient is two forceful thrusts in quick succession. This will also cause very minimal bleeding, leaving very little clean-up.

  6. John E says:

    Not all virgins have an intact enough hymen to bleed at first intercourse. One study put it at 50-50. Just so you and she both know that going in. Relaxed, well-aroused, well-lubricated. That’s about all you can do and take it slow. Good luck and Best wishes to you both!

  7. michelle says:

    You’re going to marry this woman and you don’t know how to talk to her about sex? Just be honest and caring and any discussion should go fine. I never bled when I had sex for the first time. It’s different for every woman. I would recommend giving her oral and lots of foreplay to get her body physically ready for penetration. Just go slow and gently. Don’t freak out if she does bleed. It’s completely natural and you definitely don’t want to make her feel bad for something that is out of her control and apart of her body. Maybe even tell her it’s ok if you think she’s feeling uncomfortable or awkward because of the bleeding or any ‘mess’ on the bed. Congratulations on your marriage. 🙂

  8. AmandaDenise says:

    Just take it slow and let it flow….lol.. :)..& it wont be a lot of blood…most likely spotting..its not going to be like a period…but anyway just make sure she is relaxed, and don’t be too rough

  9. Shine says:

    unfortunatly, there is no real way to make it not hurt. you are what makes the “cherry” pop. you can try manual stimulation. but even then, the finger is much smaller then the real deal. trust me. the pain will pass, just keep her relaxed. talk sweet to her, let HER BE IN CHARGE (really does help in this situation) and after the first 2 to 3 times the pain will pass and all will be well. jsut let her run the show for the first few times. jsut don’t push, and force things on her, or yourself. and most of all. BREATH.
    never force her to have sex at any circumstances.
    I insist you better have first time under the shower to handle the bleeding issue!!
    wish you a happy honey moon.

  10. Glissade says:

    She honestly probably won’t have too much/any pain from breaking the hymen. The hymen sort of wears out/away after awhile due to things like excercise and such. As long as she’s not like, a child bride, she’ll survive most likely with very little blood.

    However, for some women, first time sex can still be a little uncomfortable. to decrease this as much as possible, you should use a position where the girl has control (such as girl on top). A hot bath beforehand might also help.

    As for the “taking about sex” part… you really need to help her out with that. It is a little akward for inexperienced girls to try and talk about sex, especially if their significant other isn’t in the same boat as them. You need to sit her down and explain to her that you think it’s best to have an open conversation about sex since you’re both worried about the big night. Explain that you understand it’s uncomfortable to talk about, but you two need to be open about it. It’s important that she gets over her discomfort now, beause if she feels like she can’t talk about sex now, she’ll probably feel that way during as well, which means she might not communicate if something feels uncomfortable, especially if she feels embarrased… good luck and congrats on the upcoming wedding!

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