Has it been too long? Why won’t my bf propose? Should I just move on?

May 6th, 2011

I’ve been dating my bf for about two and a half years. I will be completely honest with you, we are not going to have sex before we get married, so moving in together is not an option. Well after dating about a year we went ring shopping and picked out a ring, we were ready to get married. We planned a date and started planning small parts of the wedding, and as the date approached I still had no ring.

So I knew something was up, and we talked about it. He said he just needed a couple more months to get on his feet, I could understand, so I figured we’d push it back, but this time, I decided not to plan anything until I had the ring. Well he didn’t speak of wedding plans for 4 months. I didn’t want to bring it up to him because I know guys don’t like to feel pressured, and I wanted him to do it on his own terms, I wanted to feel that he loved me enough to propose.

Well we ended up breaking up because I was sick of waiting around, but long story short we got back together, and he told me that he was ready to finally move forward and get married. I again didn’t want to plan anything until I had the ring, and I also didn’t want to bring up the subject of marriage because I didn’t want to seem nagging or pushy. Well, pretty soon the relationship went back to how it was, he didn’t bring up wedding plans, things resumed their place.

As months dragged on I started feeling insecure, was he just stringing me along? So I finally couldn’t keep it in any longer and brought it up to him. He said that it was coming soon, we just needed to plan a date. So I got my hopes up once again, and nothing happened, again.

Well now it’s been a year and half since he bought the ring and he still hasn’t given it to me. I’ve tried being patient, and showing him that I can wait, that I love him. I also did not want to push him because I wanted him to want me, I wanted him to be so anxious to marry me that he would do everything without me having to bug him about it.

Well enough was enough when his little sister walked in with her bf of 3 months (that’s way too short) and had a ring on her finger. I was furious. We had a feeling that they would get engaged and I told my bf that I would be mad if they got engaged before us. It’s so hard for me to pretend to be happy when I watch other couples get engaged. I’ve watched his friends and some of my friends meet their spouses after we’ve been dating and get engaged and married before us. It hurts so bad. He tells me that I shouldn’t compare myself to them, but it’s just that it hurts, it just makes me wonder why my bf doesn’t love me enough to want to be with me. I’m just so exhausted with him, I just feel so hurt all the time. I hate that he knows that I’ve been hurting for so long and has done nothing to change that.

So lately I’ve been trying to bring it up here and there with him. He talks about it, we throw dates around, but nothing is ever serious. So finally last night I couldn’t take it anymore and unloaded everything off my chest and told him how hurt I was feeling, even though he knows exactly how I feel because I’ve told him before, I felt I had to tell him again. Today he said that he is ready, and knows how he is going to propose and when, and it will be before Thanksgiving. He said that we should set a date today.

Can I trust his words? He has done this to me before… I love him so much and want to be with him, but I don’t want to get hurt anymore. I want to believe him so badly, but until I have a ring I can’t believe anything he says. I feel like I deserve someone who doesn’t drag their feet when it comes to being with me or not.

Do you think it’s time for me to just move on? Or should I trust him this time? Why are guys so afraid of commitment and moving forward??

One Response to “Has it been too long? Why won’t my bf propose? Should I just move on?”

  1. Jay Sharky says:

    I think you should give him a chance. If he blows it this time, its time to move on. Don’t give him any more chances after this one.

    Guys aren’t afraid to commit. If they were, there wouldn’t be so many engagements happening. Look around you.

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