Girlfriend uninvited to wedding, but in weird circumstance?

July 8th, 2011

Good friends of mine are getting married soon (yay!). Several months back I received a card to “save the date” that was addressed to myself and my girlfriend at the time.

About 3 months ago we broke up after two years due to some issues that came up about me getting a job far away from her. I told my friends about it soon afterwards. However, the both of us decided to get back together after a month since some of the issues changed between us. I received the final invitation to the wedding just recently, and realized that it was only addressed to me (no “Plus Guest”).

I did mention to one of the people getting married that we were back together, but I guess it was too little too late and her name did not make it to the guest list. I know at the time they uninvited her as a courtesy to me since we were broken up for, what I’m assuming, was that month of planning for them.

Should I pursue this and ask about re-inviting her/placing her name on my RSVP? Or should I not bother? Don’t know what the etiquette is here. I’m a lot closer to the couple than her, but she is friends with them as well.


11 Responses to “Girlfriend uninvited to wedding, but in weird circumstance?”

  1. LILPAT133 says:

    Dont go if it bothers her but you can ask abt inviting her if she feels left out

  2. starfunkels says:

    I definitely believe you have the right to just ask them. If they are close friends they’ll understand and it shouldn’t be a problem. But if it’s money or numbers they’re worried about you could even offer to pay for her.

  3. cjsmummy says:

    no,you never ask for someone to be included on the invite after it’s been received,it’s rude

  4. Paula12481632 says:

    No. As far as they were aware you weren’t together, so only you got an invite. And it’s rude to ask for an extra invitation.

    You and your gf are in the same situation as a couple who is newly dating. There was no obligation to invite her, you should attend alone, she will be OK alone for one day.

  5. double d debbie says:

    No, you can’t ask 🙂
    Lots of time and effort go into guest lists.
    The couple have their reasons and it might ruin your friendship if they say no
    Just go by yourself 🙂
    Have fun 🙂

  6. Rose says:

    No, you go alone.

    If your girlfriend makes a fuss about it, then perhaps it’s time to end the relationship permanently.

  7. Two says:

    If you’re close enough to the couple you can ask if this is just an oversight, or if it arises because numbers are capped and, effectively, someone else has been invited in her place. But try to ask them in a way which makes it clear that, if she missed out through being broken up with you at the wrong time, and her place has now been filled, that’s OK.

  8. HIS! says:

    If they’re close friends you can ask them. But don’t be rude if they don’t have room to add another person.

  9. seamstress says:

    Since you “did mention to one of the people getting married that we were back together, but I guess it was too little too late and her name did not make it to the guest list”.

    You already mentioned it and if she was not re-invited then, you can expect that the invitation list was to it’s limit and that is why the bride/groom did not offer up an invitation.

    I would leave it be for now. Perhaps when it is closer to the wedding and regrets from other invitees come in, there will be a better opportunity for space to add another guest.

  10. Because I Said So says:

    You can’t actually approach the bride or groom and ask if you can bring your girlfriend at this point, it puts them in an awkward position if the answer is no. Their budget may have changed and now they can’t afford to pay for a meal for every single guests’ date. I think the two of you can be apart for a few hours on one night so you can attend without her.

  11. Sunflower says:

    Your good friends aren’t required to provide a plus guest to an unmarried couple. Since you are on-again-off again, they chose to invite only you. It is rude for you to invite another guest.

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