Getting married in ten months and freaking out!!?

January 12th, 2011

I’m in college. I am graduating in May…and my wedding is in September. I know I have ten months but I’m starting to really freak out. I’m 22 years old and have no idea how to start planning a wedding. I have booked the wedding ceremony and reception venues…and have my wedding party. Now, I have no idea where to go from there.

Why am I feeling so stressed about this??

We have been together for 7 years…we are ready to get married but I find that this whole planning thing is stressful. He’s a guy and doesn’t really seem interested in helping….BUT when I do make suggestions that he doesn’t like, he will quickly say “no, we aren’t doing that….or I don’t like that”…but won’t make an effort to tell me what HE wants in our wedding. I suggested that we write out own wedding vows…I thought it would be sweet and romantic and he suddenly went into panic mode and said “no, absolutely not…we are not doing that…I like the traditional ones”
I guess my real question is where do I start? Any suggestions on how to calm my nerves about this…it’s ten months away…that seems too soon to be freaking out. lol
Annie, unfortunately you must be one of those people who likes to shit on other people’s joy. We have dated for 7 years. No, we haven’t dated many other people but we love each other. We have taken breaks before and dated other people which never compared to anything that he and I have together. We are very happy together. We travel together. We were each other’s first everything. We have been through more together than most could deal with and still come out of as a solid couple. He’s lost his father in a hunting accident, and his brother, our best man, was killed in a car accident.

Unlike some people, we know what we have and we know we want to spend the rest of our lives together.
And as for “so much to see and do”….him and I have been many places and done many things. Bungy jumping, jamaica, mexico, peurto rico, cayman islands.

One thing that makes me angry is for some grumpy old woman telling me I’m making a mistake. Are you married? Maybe you are the one who is unhappy in your marriage and thinks just because one person gets married at a young age and is unhappy that means everyone will be unhappy.

I’d be willing to bet my life that him and I will have a happy, strong, faithful marriage for the rest of our lives 🙂
By the way, my mother got married to my dad when she was 18….had my older brother when she was 22, and a set of twins (me and my bro), and has been married for over 30 years! It’s possible some people AREN’T miserable and full of regret like YOU..

Sorry to everyone else who had to read the bridezilla comment..lol But some people have ignorant answers.
As for matron of honor..that’s my sister in law but she just got a new teaching job…and she is SO busy with that until the summer…so I’m trying to jumpstart to help her out a little bit 🙂

7 Responses to “Getting married in ten months and freaking out!!?”

  1. sillyme1212 says:

    Get assistance from a wedding planner and also visit some website over the Internet for ideas. Enjoy the ride!

  2. luv41anatha says:

    where is your maid or matron of honor? she or he should be helping you get through this…

  3. Annie says:

    Your only 22 yrs old, you started dating him at 15 yrs old. Neither of you have had other partners or relationships. I think your going to regret getting married later on because of this. I know this is about the stress of a wedding, but, your going to be a lot more stressed after you realize you made this mistake, too young, too much to see and do. There are wedding planning books out there. All kinds of them. Buy one

  4. Dan H says:

    Hire a wedding planner.
    Talk to your mother
    Talk to his mother
    Aunt’s
    Sister’s
    Friends who are married?
    Maid of Honor?

    You don’t need to do this alone. There are lots of married people out there who have been where you are now. Talk to them.

  5. pencil&eraser says:

    Okay, the first thing you probably want to do is make a budget. How much can you spend on your wedding for the flowers, invitations, location, honeymoon, after party, dress, etc.? After you get that settled, figure out where you want your wedding to be and who will be leading the wedding ceremony. Now you can start dealing with how many seats will be necessary, the flower arrangements, etc. Then start looking for your wedding dress, veil, shoes, makeup, hair, etc. You may want to take you fiance to the shop to get his tuxedo while you get your dress. Remember, you won’t find your dress in a day, it may take at least a week, but don’t forget to get the order in as soon as possible, because you probably will need to make alterations to the dress, such as lengthing the end or whatever it is that you need to fix. If you have bridesmaids, flower girls, then you will probably also want to get their dresses after you get your dress. After that, figure out how many invitations you will need, music, the cake, and the catering, if you will have a party after the wedding. Since you want to keep everything organized, i would purchase a planner dedicated all to the wedding.

    And about your fiance not cooperating with your wedding plans, you two should make it clear that this is a wedding for the BOTH of you and that the arrangements should be made together, not all by yourself. A wedding is something that will be the most memorable in you life, you should make it the way you imagined it; and i don’t mean something extravagent, but something that your husband and you will think back to as the happiest day of your lives. Try not to argue while making plans for the wedding, this should be a happy time for you.

    If you have any more questions, then i can always comment back.

    I really hope this helps. 🙂 Congratulations

  6. amywade40 says:

    Step 1 – BREATHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    O.K. Now that your’e smiling a little – seriously breathe.

    Your wedding will be perfect. Do you know how I know – because when you walk down that aisle you will look up and see the man you love. Everything else will quickly become irrelevant.

    Start simple, make a check list so you don’t forget anything (I carried a notebook everywhere when I was planning my wedding so I could jot down notes), don’t forget to write down telephone numbers, call back times, conformations, and especially the names of people you talk to so you can verify things and when the expected glitches come you have a name to refer to WRITTEN DOWN SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO THINK OF IT OFF THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD!!!!!!!!!

    Start with a wedding date and where you want the wedding to be (have 2 or 3 places in mind). Do these things coincide? If not, what can you change about it that would be the least stressful for you.

    Now that you have the venue – how many people can it hold? Once you get that figure make a guest list and send out invitations so people can start marking their calendars.

    What colors do you want for your wedding? Get a color scheme in mind and STICK TO YOUR GUNS ABOUT IT. If that is what you want – then everyone else can work around it. Be flexible only if you have to – it is YOUR wedding.

    Pick bridesmaids and maid of honor.
    Pick a dress for you. Make time for several fittings.
    Pick dresses/outfits for bridesmaids.
    Remind future husband about groomsmen.
    Coordinate with future husband with number of groomsmen and bridesmaids.
    Decide what flowers you like and start calling florists about arrangements
    Decide on wedding cake style
    Decide on caterer.
    Don’t forget register book, cake cutters, table decorations, etc.

    You can also get a book called Wedding Planning for Dummies (YOU ARE NOT A DUMMY – IT IS THE NAME OF THE BOOK!!!!!)

    Don’t worry – things will fall in place.

    As for your future husbands actions – he doesn’t know what to do either. Be thankful that he is at least telling you what he doesn’t like. Most men will hold their tux together with safety pins and just show up on time (if you are lucky). In his own way he IS telling you what he likes – by saying what he doesn’t like.

    I planned, catered, and decorated my own wedding – and put it all together in 5 weeks. Not to mention the place where my wedding was had a party the night before and left it trashed. I panicked all the way driving to the venue to get married. I got there, got dressed, walked across the street mumbling and saying I’m not doing this the whole way, and when I got inside and looked down the aisle and saw my future husband it all went away. My wedding was perfect – I married the man I love.

    Good luck to you.

  7. Fun T says:

    How about this—postpone the wedding until a year after you graduate. Why? Why not? Graduating and finding/starting a new job and adjusting to non-student life is going to be stressful in itself. This might be part of why you are freaking out. You’ve got too much on your plate. I don’t know what your major is, but when I was trying to graduate, there was no way I could deal with anything other than graduating. You didn’t say where he was at as far as graduating, but he might be stressed by it also and maybe his short, snippy answers to things are his way of saying, “I’m overwhelmed by this right now”, just like your freak-out feelings are telling you the same thing.

    Look, September is just four months from when you graduate. Why not enjoy and celebrate your graduation on its own. Then, after you’ve graduated, set a date for your wedding one year later. I don’t understand why so many people try to cram all of life’s experiences into a tiny little amount of time. Draw it out a bit and savor and enjoy each experience. I’ve seen too many people graduate, get a job, get married, buy a house, and start having kids all within a year. Then what’s left?

    My wife and I tried to compress things at first and it didn’t feel right. We were stressed, irritated, overwhelmed, and the whole thing began to feel unpleasant—and that’s not what it should feel like. So, we stopped in our tracks and agreed that we should push the date back by a whole year and make sure we’ve got time and energy cleared to deal with just that alone. It ended up being a great decision and we have said so many times, looking back at our wedding album, that we’re so glad we changed the date so that we could enjoy the planning and the build-up rather than be stressed by it.

    So, don’t rush through life. If you’re only going to do this once, don’t make the planning and the event share time with your graduation and post graduation period. If you really think this marriage stuff is that special, block out a whole year just for concentrating on planning it and having it. Don’t make it share time with your graduation, finding a job, finding a place to live/buying a house, etc.

    If that suggestion doesn’t work for you—may I suggest and Excel spreadsheet?

RSS feed for comments on this post. And trackBack URL.

Leave a Reply