Am i making the right decision?

December 11th, 2010

I am a single mother of a 11 month old girl. My daughter and i don’t attend church not because i don’t believe in god but because i would rather read my daughter the bible at home than have her open to the judgements of the local church people. I was 7 months pregnant and i went to church frequently.because i was unwed and pregnant i was outcast. The preacher started to preach and he looked at me and yelled ” having sex without being wed and than bringing a BASTARD into the world is without a doubt a sin god’s plan is for man and women to marry and than start a family and live the christian life… after the sermon everyone looked at me and i could hear the nasty whispers. Yes i admit i made a mistake by having sex b4 i was married but i never saw my pregnancy as a mistake or as a punishment i believe god has a plan for everything Having my daughter was part of his plan.Am i making the right decision by reading her the bible at home and not taking her to church?

22 Responses to “Am i making the right decision?”

  1. nodink19 says:

    I wouldn’t want my daughter (if I had one) attending the church with that kind of preacher either.
    I like the way you’re doing it personally, and you can connect with her on a more one on one and it might benefit her in the end. Church is boring anyway.

  2. mibandibee says:

    You were at the WRONG church. Maybe you could look for a good bible teaching church, a “come as you are” church- like the Calvary Chapels- they are very inviting and we study the word of God book by book- verse by verse. I think you just went to the wrong church- there are a lot of churches out there who are not following the will of God when it comes to leading a church…..Pray about this and ask the Lord to lead you to a good church with friendly people- and somewhere you can really learn the word of God- AND somewhere with a good children’s ministry. Calvary Chapels are excellent in all of that….

  3. Jordan D says:

    It’s really what you think is best for your daughter. I am a Christian, and I do not attend church on a regualr bsis because I believe organized religions, especially the many denominations of Christianity can sometimes preach more to their own agenda than from the bible. If you think that you can properly teach her from the bible, then go ahead.

    I might try finding a church again when she’s a bit older.

  4. Jethrok says:

    Keep reading the Bible. You will find out the answer on your own.
    God Bless

  5. thecutesonali says:

    you’re totally right
    instead of doing it at home, just join a different church though if there’s one nearby

  6. black orchid says:

    the real question is ” why would you want any parts of religion after being treated that way. are you so lonely or desperate that you could even think that any of that hate mail is positive. you need to reread your whole question tomorrow and then think about how any of that is good.

    put the bible down and ditch the church. live your life.

  7. Dyanstar says:

    Darlin, not all churches are like that. Seek out a church that you are comfortable with. Non-denominational Christian churches seem to be the best. It’s a hard search, I’ll admit. Nothing wrong with reading the Bible to your daughter at home. Pray God will help you find a home and in the mean time you’re doing fantastic really. People are jerks all over. I’m sorry this preacher treated you like that. As a messenger of God he will answer for it someday. Christ’s message is forgiveness, peace, and hope.

  8. maguyver727 says:

    Your Daughter from GOD to You is a Gift from HIM.
    Your doing Great.
    Read that Bible EveryDay AND ask GOD for a New church building to go to!
    Where People Actually LOVE GOD and Show it Too!
    GOD Loves You AND your Daughter.

    p.s. I will Pray for GOD to have Mercy on that “church?”.

    GOD Bless.

  9. serenaacw says:

    I’m so sorry that people have been treating you that way.Yes,I think that having sex outside of marriage is a sin,but you have a beautiful child now ,and I am so happy for you.My mother was not married when she had me but she found a church with lovely people who didn’t yell at her.If you can find a church like that it would probably be best,but if you are okay with teaching your daughter about God and Jesus at home then that is also good.I hope you find something that is suitable for you and congratulations on your daughter.

  10. Private P says:

    You daughter is your responsibilty, and you are in no way obligated take her to church. God loves you, and your daughter, and I would not subject her to the negativity that you described in your church. That “preacher” should be ashamed of himself, what a nerve! It is not his place to judge!! Don’t worry, because God sees that preacher too. By the way, I am a Christian, I believe that God is love, and that we are supposed to be kind to one another.

    God Bless You.

  11. JohnC says:

    I would definitely find another church. I believe it is perfectly acceptable to pray and read your bible at home. I can focus on the word more at home than in any church. You shouldn’t have to go to church and have someone yell about how big a screw up you are. I mean that is why we go to church. We’ve already acknowledged the fact that we are sinners. Hence, we are in the pew! You are not making a mistake reading the bible to her at home. Church is good for fellowship with other believers, though. Is Church essential, No. God is the essential focus of her and your walk. God Bless.

  12. Story Junkie says:

    Good God Almighty!
    Do not lose heart!
    God loves and cares deeply for you and your little one.

  13. Pangel says:

    i have 3 of those beautiful little ” B words ”
    and i see Gods hand in them all ….
    if a church said this to me , you can bet it would be the last place i would take my children
    you do whats best for your child … you know whats best
    and your child will grow to be loving and compassionate … and non judgemental xx

  14. Dillydally says:

    Wow. What church were you going to?? That preacher was ridiculously judgemental and cruel. Not all preachers are like that. I’m sorry that was such an unpleasant experience; I can see why you would rather read at home. Maybe you should try a different church? Or maybe get together with some other believers and hold bible studies. That’s basically the definition of “church”. I wish you and your daughter the best.

  15. happylife22842 says:

    I wouldn’t go within ten miles of that church, but you may want to seek out another group to fellowship with. It is always a good idea to have a conference with the people that are leading any fellowship group. I don’t understand the judgemental attitude of that preacher, but I will apologize for him in the name of Jesus. Please do not hold it against true believers. Yes it is good to read the word of God to your child. It is food for their spirit being and will keep all of the evil spirits away. God’s word is sharper then a two edged sword and it will be a great foundation for the power that will come to her as she learns how to find the tools for life in it. Of course the real experience of Christ will be a choice she will have to make as she get to the age of reconing. When she does make that choice she will get the infilling of the Holy Spirit and with that comes the Word.

  16. Deirdre H says:

    First, that just shows the preacher’s ignorance simply because he has no idea of the conditions behind your pregnancy.

    Second, these churchs spew such crap. I was once at a church where the preacher told the young women that if they were raped, and didn’t fight until they died, then they were guilty of having allowed it to happen, and of having sex before marriage.

    I’m certainly glad that I don’t have to believe all of that crap. If you wish to read the Bible to your daughter, certainly do. You might also want to look for a church that isn’t that condemning in their attitudes.

    Remember what Jesus said: “suffer the little children to come to me and hinder them not”.

  17. pacific_crush says:

    Yes, your her mother and if you don’t agree with the way the preacher does his sermons than your entitled to have your daughter learn the bible in an alternative way. You want her to make judgements for herself not what she is being taught to believe but truly find God herself.

  18. common_sense_don't_hurt says:

    It’s very hard to imagine anyone going thru an experience like that.

    If what you wrote is accurate, you DON’T need to be in fellowship with people like that!

    While sharing your faith at home with your daughter is good, it’s also good to be with other faithful people. Please, find a more Christ-like church.

    I’m adding you to my prayers. God bless and support you and your daughter.

  19. Brian D says:

    You’re making the absolute right decision. And as a preacher myself, I’d have to slap the taste right out of your local preacher’s mouth. I’d say he’s reading too much Paul and not enough Luke.

    Bless you, and your daughter.

  20. god_of_the_accursed says:

    no you arent wrong in doing this. you or your kid dont need that kind of attention, and if you dont feel like you did anything wrong about having a child then you didnt commit a sin.

  21. . says:

    Sounds like he didn’t want to help the two of you.
    I recommend going to The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints. I have looked at statistics of that church and the state of Utah, where around 70 percent of the population are Members, and the state of Idaho.

    Lowest statistics on abortion, fatherless homes, teen pregnancy even tho the child birth rate is the highest in the US.
    Highest vitality and longevity in the US.
    Most money given to charity in any state.
    So many wonderful things I know about this church and all the good it causes in the world and in my life.

    You and your girl, deserve the best church the world has to offer.

  22. eaglknight says:

    Jesus slapped the taste out of the Pharisees mouths by his words. I imagine he would do the same to those judgemental people at that church. You made a mistake, you have accepted the outcome, you realize and admit that you did wrong, now can’t they just put it aside and help you raise your child? Apparantly not. You are very right for leaving that church. The Bible never said we must go to church to have a relationship with God. It does talk about not forsaking the gathering together of believers though. Talk to other people who believe in God (not only Christians)…as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens the countenance of their friend. God bless you and your daughter. Thank you for bringing her into the world. =) I’m sure God would be pleased.

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