Will I be always disappointed if I dont have my dream wedding and honeymoon?

April 9th, 2010

The wedding plans are all going good but we have had to really cut down on certain things – price of my dress, type of alcohol we provide, number of guests, wedding favors etc. because we just cant afford it. We have just put down a diposet on a house which is more important than having my ideal wedding but I just wish I could have both.
We have no money for a honeymoon now though, should we just go away somewhere for a weekend locally? I have always wanted to stay in Fiji or Tahiti or somewhere in the south pacific. Ideally would love to stay somewhere like Likuliku Lagoon Resort, is there any way I can?
Do you think honeymoon registrys are tacky?

25 Responses to “Will I be always disappointed if I dont have my dream wedding and honeymoon?”

  1. gabeybaby_2000 says:


  2. hart21664 says:


  3. flutterflie04 says:

    save your money and go on a big vacation later. also, I dont care what people say, but have a cash bar.

  4. Rebecca W says:

    Yes, according to every etiquette book.

    You should just realize how lucky you are. Some people are never able to buy a house. And don’t let the rest of those details matter so much. You are in control of what happens.

  5. Q-mama says:

    A house is a very smart investment and a smart choice for part of your wedding budget. The wedding is always a dream, but remember it is only one day and one party. The marriage, your life together, and the home you will build are much longer lasting. Make the best wedding and honeymoon you can with your budget and enjoy every minute of it. In your mind it can be the dream, as long as you are together. Someday you will be able to take that dream trip and it will be all the more meaningful to you for the wait and because you worked together to achieve it. Congratulations and best wishes.

  6. jlunchbox says:

    if you make sure that you have a good time at your wedding you will not be disappointed. you may be surprised at the money you can save up for a honeymoon in the time left. i think it’s important to take at least something. it’s almost a little depressing to come home after the wedding…you need something to ease you back in. yes, honeymoon registries are tacky. you’ll get lots of cash…my advice is to register for a few household items that you need and that’s it. people love to give cash.

  7. y2-y1 says:

    Please remember something – after all is said and done, the end result is the same – you are married!

    I don’t know anything about “honeymoon registries”, but what about staying a night or two local, then saving for that Fiji trip for your one or two year anniversary? Trust me, the years fly by.

    My husband and I got married at the courthouse in jeans and t-shirts with plain gold bands. Now, 20 years later, we are planning a vow renewal with friends and family. We have the money to have a great party, and are really looking forward to it. The only thing? I couldn’t stand to update that gold band. It’s been there through tears, laughter, labor pains, sickness, health, kids, Christmas – you name it.

    Trust me, you won’t regret it. In the end, you will be (hopefully) marrying your best friend, and then you are in for the time of your life!

    Good luck!!!

  8. my name is not important here... says:

    no youll prolly find a way to laf about it 5 years from now!

  9. worried parent says:

    no not if you find the right person it will not matter because life is what you make it

  10. Ricardo says:

    My dear Katie. I can feel your pain. Yes, for my first wedding, we gave up a destination wedding in Tahiti because my ex- had just bought a little ski chalet in Aspen, Colorado. We settled for a ceremony at the top of Vail Mountain, and for the rest of my marriage, she complained about not having my wedding on the beach with hula girls in the sunset. If I was you, I would put off the marriage, and look around for a richer husband who can meet all of your needs. Your husband will get tired of hearing you complain about not having a little sports car, or needing a bigger house, or having nothing to wear, as he has no room for his clothes in your overflowing closets.

  11. amb21293 says:

    First, take a deep breath and meditate on the man you’re marrying. While you go through this process of planning your wedding, whenever you feel yourself getting wrapped up in all the mess and stress of planning a wedding remember that it is all for the life you are going to have with your soulmate.
    Plenty of married couples have a second, “dream” wedding when finances allow for it… And even more have their dream honeymoons.

    Just don’t let these worries get in the way of your relationship.

  12. lemonlimesherbet says:

    Save for the dream second honeymoon. I was concieved on a second honeymoon. So good things come to those who wait. Go to a hotel or B.&B. for a night or two. Then maybe a small weekend during the wedding year. Then have the big second honeymoon on one of your anniversaries. The honeymoon is a vacation. Something which is consumed and you are left with memories like a meal but the house is very real. Congratulations!

  13. Eruvadhron "LOE" says:

    The house is definetly a good investment for the future and is technically the better choice. However I do believe that you will be dissappointed for the rest of you life by missing the dream wedding and honeymoon. How ever you can always go on great vacations later once your setttled in. I still think you will have alot of fun though. Try to be optimistic! You could always have a pretend dream honeymoon later anyways as long as youa re thankful for it. Have fun and grats on the wedding!

  14. dMae712 says:

    Girl, we put a huge down on the house. Wedding is one day and all for show.. it’s not worth it. if there’s anything you ahve to skimp on, skimp on the reception. You want to spend MORE for yourselves on your house and for your honeymoon, NOT for everyone else. Spend less on the receptions, cut the guests, get a cash bar, do wedding favor PER family, etc. Then take the savings from the wedding and spend it for your honeymoon. I don’t regret my wedding… I love my house and I totally enjoyed my honeymoon in Italy.

    Yes, honeymoon registries are tacky.

  15. My thoughts says:

    While a fancy honeymoon is nice, think of it a bit differently.

    If you don’t have a dream honeymoon right away, you can savour the memories of your wedding. That will help cement the fun and happy events into your memory.

    Then, a couple years later, have the big trip and you will a whole bunch of new fun memories.

    If you do them together, you just have one mashed-together memory.

    Have a simple honeymoon. Something really fun to do is to be a tourist in your own town/city or province/state. You can see things you’ve never paid attention to before and it doesn’t cost an arm and a leg to do it.

  16. reginachick22 says:

    The first thing you must realize is that weddings NEVER go exactly as planned. For some lucky brides, this means that their flowers are the wrong shade or the limo is late, for others, this means that they will have to forgo their dream honeymoon or pricey ballroom for the reception. Or cut back on the guest list. You are learning the first rule of marriage…compromise!

    You have a few options:

    -Cut back on your wedding and have the honeymoon you want.

    -Cut back on your honeymoon (i.e. go to a local resort or ski chalet) and have your desired wedding. You can always go on a big trip at a later date. I think that if you really want a nice wedding, you should go for it. You can only have your “official” wedding once. Remember to invite only as many guests as you can afford to entertain.

    -Since I am a young person, I *personally* don’t have a problem with honeymoon registries (those who want to use it will), but you might not find it’s worth having one. Most guests either don’t use registries, or they prefer to give cash gifts. Some guests prefer to give the same types of gifts to all couples. My aunt, for example, ALAWAYS gives a pot set to a newly married couple, whether they registered for one or not. Older guests and those who are very “proper” may find alternative registries in either poor taste, or may even be unsure how to contribute to one. Usually honeymoon registries require a credit card and the internet.

    I *personally* think that cheaping out on your guests (i.e. cash bar, cheap food, bad service, etc.) is worse than any honeymoon registry could ever be. Remember that you are inviting GUESTS to your wedding, it is not all about you. You are creating memories for them too. Luckily, I think most brides understand this. If you don’t care about your guests, they should not be at your wedding. Elope instead.

    -Lastly, you could look into getting an extra part time job for a few months. It is also possible that either of your parents may consider helping you as a gift. Traditionally, I believe it’s the husband’s family that is supposed to pay for the honeymoon in Western culture. If they have the financial means, this may be a gift they WANT to give you.

    Sit down with your husband to be and decide which matters more to you, your wedding or your honeymoon. There is no right or wrong here.

    You can go with the honeymoon registry, and I would also have a traditional registry at a department store.

    P.S ALL registries are essentially asking for gifts you would like. Therefore, if you see one as tacky, they ALL should be tacky. I find it funny how some on this board consider honeymoon registries “tacky”, and yet think it’s perfectly classy and OK to charge your guests for alcohol (i.e. cash bar) and put registry info on their invites (i.e. asking for gifts). Funny! Anyone else notice this?

  17. Challenge says:

    The answer depends on you because only you know how important a dream wedding is to you. Except for those with unlimited income, we all have to make choices when it comes to our wedding. If your wedding day means everything to you, then you need to forsake the house and all other purchases for your special day.

  18. smartgal says:

    how about having a small wedding and going to a bed and breakfast for your honeymoon then later take a honeymoon after you and him have saved up the money you both can go where you want just as long as you have each other you will be happy.

  19. Invisigoth says:

    if a honeymoon registry is in place of a regular wedding registry, then that is fine.

    If you can’t go to Fiji or Tahiti or Bali, then Samoa or Hawaii might be a more economical substitute.

    If it were me, I’d scale back on the wedding and reception so that I had money for the trip. I think the trip is more important to the couple than the party and no one is going to remember the wedding and reception a few years down the road.

  20. Poppet says:

    At the end of the day what is more important…the wedding itself or the start of the marriage? Don’t get sucked into the wedding perfection vortex.

    Yes, I think honeymoon registries are tacky.

  21. gumnut says:

    well if you would rather get married now and compromise a bit or otherwise you could wait a year and get married later. i would do it now and not worry about the little things. you will have a wonderful house to come home to. i think its really have with registry’s no matter which way you go.

  22. kiwi says:

    Your wedding sounds like it’ll be fine. Just pick the best that you can within your budget. The house is by far more important than that dream wedding.

    You can always plan on a honeymoon for your 5th or 10th anniversary, depending on how things are by then. Maybe for now, pick an overnight or weekend stay at a nice hotel. Yes, honeymoon registries are very, very tacky. Don’t do that.

  23. Steph says:

    Everyone has to work within a budget whether that budget be $5000 or $50,000. You kinda bought a house at a shit time with the state of the australian economy and the fact that the interest rates are rising every quarter, but at least you have that house. It should never be worth less than the money you paid for it so no matter what it is not money wasted.

    As for the honeymoon there are several things you can do:
    1). Book early, as in over a year early. You usally get their lowest rate.
    2) Go somewhere a bit closer. I don’t know if you have been to thailand, but from Perth you can get 10 nights of 5 star accomodation including flights for about $1000. Koh Samui is beautiful and the topography is very much like the islands of south pacific.
    3) Do the honeymoon registry. People arn’t as offended as you think. I have been to 4 weddings in 2 years and half of them had a honeymoon registry. I was going to give money anyway so this makes it easy.

    Good luck. You can still have eveything you want, you just have to be creative and look for deals.

  24. Lydia says:

    No, hopefully you are mature enough and just happy enough to marry your honey – that those things won’t matter. You are choosing to go with a house instead, and that’s fine!
    We didn’t have a honeymoon, and chose instead to put that money in our wedding, because that was more important to us.
    You won’t regret things – you’ll be on the way to your happily married life! You can always take a holiday together later.
    I don’t like the idea of honeymoon registries – guests should NOT be expected to finance that!

  25. Amanda says:

    Listen sweetie. Do you know how lucky you are to get to put a deposit down on a house…and as newlyweds?!? I would’ve gladly traded my honeymoon for a house!!! Just get your priorities in order and you’ll be fine.

    Your wedding day will be like nothing I can describe…it will almost feel like you don’t have a care in the world, just for that one day…it’s just you and him even with all of the people around you, and it’s just the most beautiful thing! If it’s right, it’s indescribable. That’s something money CAN’T buy.


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