The Bride offered to pay for bridesmaid dress….AND THEN changed HER MIND!? Last minute?

March 29th, 2010

Ok, let me calm down..Well here is the situation. My cousin is getting married (he is very close to my family and I). In fact, we are considered to be the “grooms family” and acting as such when it comes to financial responsibilities. His family is …well nonexistent in his life. Anyways……..fast forward to the story. The bride (which we are all familiar with) asked me to be a part of the wedding. About three weeks ago, she said “next week is the fitting for the dresses and its all paid for, all you have to do is come and try on the dress”. I was a little hesistent but I accepted on behalf of my cousin and I wanted to be a part of his day. So the week of the fitting arrives and we (my mom and I) drive down to her area (3 hour drive) and try on the dress and meet the girls.

The dress is actually really pretty and I liked it. The whole time the bride and her friends are being catty and rude. And Im just trying to keep the peace, especially since I dont know them. Well anyways, the bride and Maid of honor, start saying what they want the wedding to look like and says she wants my hair up and doesnt like it the way it is now. blah blah blah.

I try on the dress and I come out and she looks at it and it needs some alterations. I get to the register, all the other girls are paying for their dresses. Im looking around for the bride and she is no where to be found. I start to walk around and look for her. And I asked her “I thought you said the dresses were paid for?” and she says “Oh yeah, they said there is no down payment plan, I thought it was, well now they need the money to be paid now, so we can order everything”.

I just looked at her like “WTF”!?!. Im a full time college student which in turn for me equals BROKE!! Well anyway, I had called my mom and she said I could use her card to pay. And I bought the dress. The other bridesmaids are older women whom are married with full time jobs. The bride is not even in college but she is like a 2 years older than me and working.

And then they asked me if I wanted to go out to dinner….lol lololo…lmao…I was like YEAH right!!

Well anyways, the bride and her group gave me the run down of events and dates during the time of the fitting. Which are all very close and the wedding isnt til next summer. Is it just me or are they being a LITTLE inconsiderate about telling me things and what about the bride LYING to me.

I dont know what to do about any of this. Im really just in this for my cousin, but its already really frustrating to me. I understand the bride is under stress, but what is acceptable and how should I respond to their last minute requests?!! What should I say to her, if anything?

I wanted to add, I do have a job and Its just right now Im getting things ready for school and Im sort of in the red area. And last minute situations are hard to fix. I just didnt expect to pay, when she said it was PAID FOR. What if my mom was not there to help me pay.

When it came time to pay, the bride walked away, and I had to go looking for her, just to ask her what was going on. That is when she told me that “She is no longer paying, because the store does not offer a payment plan…it needs to be ordered now”

1 second ago
Once, I found the bride…she came to the register and told me that she is NOT PAYING ANYMORE. She was hiding from me

11 Responses to “The Bride offered to pay for bridesmaid dress….AND THEN changed HER MIND!? Last minute?”

  1. gravesforboys says:

    i know this is a sucky situation, considering she offered.

    your role as a bridesmaid is to pay for your own dress, and support her in her decisions shes going to make, as much as it may hurt. We are all pressed for money when we are in weddings, but remember that this is her only chance to do this, and she has a lot more on her mind then her bridesmaids dresses.

    Id just suck it up and let her be.

  2. Raffy says:

    If that were to happen to me I would just walk away and not look back. I don’t like liars, if she wasn’t able to pay for it like she said she already did, she could have been honest about it. I’m sure if she was honest from the beginning you wouldn’t have a problem with paying for the dress yourself since you want to be a part of it for your cousins sake. But she ruined it and it would only get more awkward once the wedding is near. I think you should express your thoughts about it to your cousin, he needs to know about it. If he really cares for you like his own “family”, then he needs to get his soon to be wife apologize to you, it is what you deserve.

  3. Twinkin says:

    She sounds like a tosser! I’d be upset too dude, she should have said something before you even drove out there, or at least when you first got there… what a cow. Getting married makes peoplemdo wierd things. Whatever you do, don’t say anything negative about her to your cousin… just suck it up, be there for him like you said… it’s so unfair, I know… augh. Bridezillas!

  4. Stacey22 says:

    You will understand why brides become under stress when you get married. Its a major job pulling off a wedding.. It cost alot of money, When I got married, I made my bridesmaids pay for there dresses and the men paid for there tux.
    I mean yeah she shouldnt have told you they were paid for, and then you make you pay for it. Or at least tell you before you got there. I can understand how excited the other girls was, and you may have felt out of place where you didnt know them. Its your cuz big day. and this day is everything to the bride and groom, if it was me I wouldnt say anything to her about it…

  5. MB says:

    You know what? Since the wedding is next summer you have more than enough time to back out or what you could do it just do it for your cousin……..and think of it…….You have a pretty dress to wear again.

    Some people are just “full of crap”.

  6. fizzygurrl1980 says:

    It sounds like the bride is just very disorganized and a bit overwhelmed, and she didn’t get the facts straight about the payment plan for the dresses. Or maybe the store did tell her originally that she could make monthly payments on the dresses and then they canceled that policy. Something similar happened to me with our wedding bands, and we ended up having to pay a $500 balance on rings that we were planning on only paying about $50 a month for until next summer when we’re getting married. So these things do happen.

    Even though she originally offered to pay for the dress, you must realize that traditionally, it is the bridal party’s responsibility to pay for their wedding attire. When you first found out that she wasn’t going to pay for your dress after all, you should have just told her, “Well, I’m sorry, but I can’t afford to be a bridesmaid,” rather than using your mom’s credit card. That would have been the perfect “out” for you, if you’re not comfortable hanging out with the bride and her other friends. They do sound sort of catty and rude, and it seems as though maybe the bride just asked you to be a bridesmaid because maybe your cousin (the groom) made her ask you. Perhaps she was hoping you’d decline the offer.

    Anyway, you’re the bridesmaid now, and you’ve already gone and paid for the dress, so I think you should make the best of it. Try to make friends, or at least be civil, with the rest of the bridal party. Since they’re already all married and working full-time, they may not have a lot in common with a younger college student such as yourself. It could even be that they’re envious of your youth and single status, and the fact that you’re going for your degree. Sometimes married women who never really were single feel like they missed out on some fun, so that could be the resentment you’re sensing. Or it could simply be that they don’t know you very well yet. Either way, hang in there- you made this commitment now and you have to see it through. Best of luck to you!

  7. alhobbs0910 says:

    This is kind of a hard situation to be in. I am getting married in 3 weeks, and my bridesmaids and groomsmen are paying for their clothes. However, I am not saying what she did was right by any means. If I had told my girls that, and then found out they did not do a payment plan, I sure as he** would have found a way to pay for their dresses or at least called them to talk to them about it before the fitting. This is something she should have found out before she told all of the girls this. I find this to be very rude. I do understand that brides are stressed and what not but having a wedding and being the bride does not give you the right to be a b****. I am sorry that this happened to you. I would most definately sit down and talk to her about how you feel. Explain to her that she does not need to pay you back but you found that very disrespectful. Sit down just the two of you and I promise it will get better.

  8. Wedding Plannner and now B2B too says:

    How about telling them that you cant afford to be int eh wedding but would love to be a guest

    and since the dress is paid for keep it for another even since you said you liked it

  9. My thoughts says:

    Normally, a bridesmaid pays for her own dress. However, part of your decision to be in the bridal party rested on her offer to pay for the dress.

    Because she changed her mind at the last minute, you have a right to do the same. If you haven’t already paid for the dress (and it sounds like you have), this would be the time to say, “Sorry. I see that circumstances have changed. I agreed to be in the wedding knowing I didn’t have to lay out cash for the dress. Given my financial circumstances, I can’t possibly afford the dress. I know you’ll understand when I say I have to bow out of the wedding party.”

  10. lucky me says:

    how rude! i understand your frustration im a bridesmaid in my aunts wedding and she insists the dresses have to be silver but that color is so hard to find and the material added to the color does not belnd flaws as well. all the bridesmaid are also in college and we have talked to her about wearing dresses that we already have and she is being so rude and inconsiderate so me and my sister have decided not to be a part of the wedding

  11. marypoppins says:

    explain that you are honored, but have to decline. say that you would’ve done it, if you would’ve paid for the dress thus you say “yes”; but seeing as though she is not, you cna no longer accept the honor of being a bridesmaid. call dvaid bridal and find out the return policy–you might have a few days left

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