Can i have a ceremony in a Methodist church then again in a Catholic Church?

April 6th, 2010

Me and my fiance are talking wedding plans. His family is Catholic whereas mine is Methodist. His father wants us to be married in his church. However my Grandmother always wanted me to be married in my church. Would it be weird to get married twice in different churches?

11 Responses to “Can i have a ceremony in a Methodist church then again in a Catholic Church?”

  1. Sarah B says:

    This is YOUR wedding and you should do what you are comfortable with. Get married in a neutral location (non religious) and have a pastor and priest participate in the ceremony. Its not an uncommon as you think. Find common rituals within both faiths and incorporate that into the ceremony. There is nothing wrong with having two officiators and The faiths are similar and really Christ is the basis of all CHRISTian religions so it shouldn’t matter. If it gets to be a big deal throw the money card out there. “My Dad is paying for it and we are getting married here!” If you don’t learn to stand up to your inlaws now you never will. Good luck.

  2. iloveweddings says:

    Yes, it would be weird and not necessary. You need to choose one church! Besides, whatever wedding is first would be your legal wedding. Anything after that would be a renewal of vows, etc.

    Now you can have the wedding in the Methodist Church and then have a “blessing of the marriage” in the Catholic Church if you want. BUT….this is NOT another wedding. It is a simple blessing of your marriage. No bridesmaids/groomsmen, etc. Look into this if you are interested. It’s called a “convalidation ceremony” in the Catholic Church.

    PS – traditionally, the couple is married in the bride’s church. That is how it always has been and still continues to this day at all the weddings I attend.

  3. An excellent advice giver says:

    NO. You have to choose 1 church. The catholic church will not perform a wedding if you have already been married in another church of a different religion! In the catholic church you have to promise to raise your kids catholic which would be a lie if you already got married in a methodist church.
    Traditionally weddings are held in the BRIDE’S hometown. AND your children are raised in the BRIDE’S religion, per tradition. So have a talk now about this. You have to choose now.

  4. Wishful says:

    If that is your plan, you should marry in the Catholic Church first. In order for your fiance to marry outside the Church he needs a dispensation from the bishop. If you marry in the Catholic Church first, your Methodist wedding will be nice, but not carry any sacramental value as you will already be married.

    Check with your fiance’s priest and discuss any options that may be available to you.

  5. Heather says:

    The second ceremony in the Catholic church would be a blessing. Lots of people do it – it’s not weird. However, the priest will not want you to make a huge deal out of it (no wedding party, only a few guests, etc.).

  6. Doodlestuff says:

    Since you aren’t going to be Catholic, forget the catholic church wedding. They will not marry you in the catholic church after you married in another church. His father is free to express his wishes but you are under no requirement to follow them. Obviously, your bf doesn’t actually care one way or the other or he wouldn’t have been dating you, knowing you weren’t catholic.

  7. PugMom says:

    The Methodist church won’t care, but the Catholic church probably will. You really have to research a bit, a lot of Catholic churches will not let you get married in them unless you are Catholic. Some do, so you have to ask around.

  8. michelle g says:

    If you did it that way then the second ceremony wouldn’t be a wedding, it would be a convalidation. And many priests refuse to do it as a seperate ceremony and will rather do it as part of a Sunday Mass.

    But there are other loopholes:

    Your fiance can go to his parish priest and ask for a dispensation from cannonical form. That way you can be married in the Methodist church but it will still be a valid Catholic marriage. He can also ask the priest to be present and to give a blessing. Then you go to your Methodist minister and ask him if he’ll allow the priest to be present and to perform a blessing and maybe do the lighting of the unity candle.

    Alternatively you could have a Catholic ceremony and all that entails (like agreeing that any children will be raised Catholic and attending a pre-marriage course). Most priests will have no problem with allowing a Methodist minister to be present and to give his own blessing. I would suggest if you do it this way that you rather not have a full Nuptial Mass if you’re given the option because it will mean that you and your family would be excluded from it. His father probably won’t like it but so long as your fiance agrees to it, it doesn’t matter.

    A third choice would be find a non-denominational chapel and then if you want the Methodist minister to be in charge you’ll need a dispensation of form from the Catholic church. And if you want the Catholic priest to perform the ceremony then things are the same as a normal Catholic ceremony. But for this you’ll need to ask for permission from the bishop (through a priest), however, since you both belong to different religions it shouldn’t be too difficult to get the permission.

    Any of these options should make everyone happy. None of them will have exactly what they want but it’s not their wedding, make them happy up to a point and then do what you and your fiance want to do.

    Good luck.

  9. sparki777 says:

    Not only weird but completely unnecessary.

    Your fiance can please his father by (a) getting official dispensation to marry a non-Catholic and (b) doing all the premarital counseling in the Catholic Church, which isn’t a bad idea because Catholics do a lot more premarital prep work than Methodists as a general rule. (Marriage is a Sacrament for Catholics, but it isn’t for Methodists). Then you get married in your church, but it’s recognized by the Catholic Church, too.

    Anyway, it’s usually typical to marry in the bride’s home church.

  10. Danielle B says:

    Yes. Once you exchange your vows you are married. If you show up to a Catholic Church and explain to the priest that you already married and want to get married again (even to the same person), he will look at you like you are from Mars. No Catholic parish will allow this, any more than they would allow your child to get baptized twice or confirmed twice. It would be treating marriage as a mere symbol/ritual and not as a genuine sacrament.

    Come up with something else to do the second time around, other than a new wedding. A ‘renewal’ of wedding vows is quite common, though this is usually done much later in the marriage. A Catholic priest will often perform a ‘blessing of married couples’, as there is a specific prayer for this in the Book of Blessings, and you could probably have some ceremony around that. The Methodist church may have something similar.

    (Though you didn’t mention this, I should bring it up. You say his family is Catholic – on the assumption that he is baptized Catholic, then the Catholic Church regards him as a Catholic, whether he is practicing or not. You should be aware that the Catholic Church _strictly requires_ its members to be married in a Catholic church by a Catholic priest. In fact, if a baptized Catholic gets married in another church, the Catholic Church will not recognize his marriage as valid and legitimate. So the two of you should think about this, and speak to a Catholic priest, just in the case that this has any meaning to you.)

  11. Veritatum17 says:

    You can really only have one ceremony because you can only be married once. To have two ceremonies would be like marrying the same person twice – you could have your marriage blessed in the other after it is pronounced in one.

    A deeper question might be, what do you both agree upon? Both Methodist and Catholic churches expect those who marry in them to follow their teachings. Are you or your fiancee wanting to marry in one or the other church to please your parents or because you believe in the teachings on marriage that each church presents?

    I’m Catholic, so it may surprise you when I say that if you don’t believe in the Catholic vows, you should not take them. In other words, marry where you believe. If that means outdoors with a non-denom pastor or even a j.o.p., then do so.

    My cousin – a Catholic – married a Methodist. They had a joint ceremony, with her pastor and his priest co-officiating. It worked fairly well, because they are both deep in their faiths and work to find areas of agreement. The officiants had fun with it – the Methodist pastor shouting an occasional “Hallelujah” during the priest’s part of the homily.

    But again, this is more a question of what you as a couple believe, and that should be answered first before deciding where to marry.

    And congratulations on your upcoming nuptials.

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