Bridal shower suggestions for how to deal with a horrible shower location?

April 11th, 2010

I am a bridesmaid in my close friend’s wedding.
From the start of wedding planning, the mother of the bride (MOB) said she would have the shower at her house.
Now, the MOB has changed her mind. This would be fine as she’s not obligated to contribute to the shower, but the MOB and another bridesmaid took it upon themselves to book a location without any other bridesmaids’ input.

The location is not nice (small, not great food, incompetent staff, bad neighborhood, etc) and it’s going to be expensive!!
The current estimate is that each bridesmaid will be contributing around $400 for the shower (there are 6 of us and 75 guests). On top of it, no thought was put into what the bride would like – she stated she didn’t want it at a restauraunt. The place was picked almost at random, as opposed to it being an expensive place the bride would love.

Is there anything that can be done to right this situation?
What if we changed the location to a VFW or someone’s home – would people freak out?

13 Responses to “Bridal shower suggestions for how to deal with a horrible shower location?”

  1. y2-y1 says:

    First of all, the MOB is not responsible for planning a shower. You should go with what you bridesmaids think, and what the bride wants. If the MOB gets angry – so be it. I’ll bet she shows up – no way would she miss it!!!

  2. alurllyn says:

    Assuming the bride knows the location, she needs to stand up to her mother and say “Thanks but no thanks”. If any of you do it or change it without the MOB’s consent, you’ll forever be “that b*tchy friend of yours” to her daughter.

    If worse comes to worse, you can just band together with the other girls and just refuse to put that $ into the shower. Make her foot the whole bill if she is bent on having it at that venue. Best of luck with that… it’s a tough situation.

  3. basketcase88 says:

    Well, is there going to be a penalty if you cancel the first place, and go with something else? If there is, you may be out of luck, if not, then by all means pick a different location.

    Most bridal showers I’ve been to have been in someone’s home. And 75 people for a bridal shower is a bit high as well. It’s not unheard of, but that’s ALOT of people at a bridal shower.

  4. shellmae80 says:

    If I were you I would change it. This is for the bride, so you want to make her happy most of all. Everyone else should be happy if she is. Especialy if not that many of them would like that resturant.
    Good Luck.

  5. giggles says:

    Unfortunately, the mother of the bride choose this , you can’t change anything. This is her little girl’s shower.
    The only one who is ever happy at showers is the mother of the bride or the mother of the groom depending which one choose everything.

    I think you are stuck, you don’t want the mother of the bride to feel that other people her taking over her event, Even if she expects you to pay for it.

  6. MelB says:

    If the invitations have already been sent there really isn’t much you can do to change it now. If they haven’t been sent yet, I would appeal to the MOB and the other bridesmaid, nicely and with as much restraint as possible, to change the place. Perhaps you could ask “Are you sure your daughter is going to be happy here?” Most MOB want to make it a fabulous day for their daughter. Good luck with it!

  7. Tracey V says:

    MOB, step aside.

    If the bride does not want a restaurant (especially one with less than good standards) shower, she shouldn’ t have to suffer thru one.

    Mother might feel like her toes have been stepped on but she will get over it…she won’t miss it. She MAY show up with ‘attitude’ but just ignore it and carry on…it isn’t about HER anyway. (with 75+ people at this shin dig, most people won’t even notice her attitude)

    And what is up with the rebel bridesmaid going behind everyone’s back? That is just plain rotten. Does she want credit? It’s gonna be ‘bad’ credit if this isn’t taken care of in a hurry.

    You want the bride to have a great time…give her one…mama will get over it and maybe even take a step back and say, “hey, I messed up”…

  8. angeldust_599 says:

    well, the MOB shouldnt be planning the shower at all. its looks bad when the mothers do it…almost like a gift grab for the bride. secondly, she would be told there is no way you’re paying $400 for it. thats nuts and no way no how would I pay it. 75 people is outrageous. it must be one huge wedding because everyone of those 75 people needs to be invited to the wedding or else thats just tacky and really is a gift grab. this is a shower, not another wedding. MOB needs to back off or take full responsibility for the cost and planning.

  9. bevrossg says:

    I for sure would give my input now…since you weren’t considered in any way with the decision let the MOB pay for the party she is planning…offer to bake or cook something.

  10. cindra says:

    If you already sent out the invitations, then yes, people will freak out—but if the invitations haven’t been sent out, who’s going to be doing the freaking and who cares. If you are thinking a VFW hall is better than your current location, then you do need to change it.

  11. theMrs. says:

    First of all, asking each bridesmaid to contribute $400 for a shower is INSANE! Second, why is the guest list so big? I have never heard of that many people for a shower. As for changing the location, I think if the bride is unhappy with it, a switch should be considered. Having it at someones home would be perfectly fine. The bridesmaids could chip in by preparing the food (like a pot luck) and by getting some decorations, etc. Good luck.

  12. Lydia says:

    The cost for that is just stupid.
    Have it at someone’s home, with those planning it contributing appies, snacks, and dainties. It’s much more fun that way, too!

  13. An M.O.B. says:

    It always amazes me how people will jump on the ‘negative side’ of a situation without knowing the WHOLE story. In ALL fairness, we’ve only heard one bridesmaid’s viewpoint on this story! I seriously have a difficult time believing that a $2400.00 shower would even be possible in a bad neighborhood, sounds like a gross exageration. From what I’ve read, it sounds like there is more than one Type A personality involved. I would also like to point out that considering it’s the Mother of the Bride vs a bridesmaid, perhaps the bridesmaid needs to behave in a more mannerly way. IT’s NOT YOUR WEDDING. Your duty is to make sure the brides wedding day goes off perfectly for her…NOT YOUR DESIRES! So take a deep breath and CHILL. The wedding day is as much for the Mom as the daughter…not the bridesmaids.

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